Saturday, January 29, 2005

imposter!

its a sick world out there. there is someone who is tagging my board using my name..which makes me wonder...who exactly is it who is tagging using my name? seriously. i can't think of anyone, and i do mean ANYONE who would even WANT to be my so called "imposter"...i mean like..WHY ME??? of all sick, delusional, hallucinating, depressed, suicidal nut out there...WHY ME?? oh wells. just so that you know..whoever you are.. I am the LAST person you would want to be like. go imitate someone else. better still. GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN..

with that said...let's move onto something even more depressing than the fact that there is someone out there trying to imitate me. worst still. want to ACTUALLY BE like me...the thought is nauseating. lemme see. i have approximately one million things running through my head. deadlines. things to be done. things to remember. and MANY MANY MORE things that i have to worry about. a.k.a the whole com club dedication thing. have to pull it off within a week to send it out in time for valentine's day. let's just pray...slowly pray...that i don't suffer from a mental breakdown due to stress or anything. and the teacher's aren't exactly helping. with the amount of homework that they give. just let it pile for a day or two. and voila. you have homework as high or maybe even higher than mount everest. quote unquote alven.. "steaming pile of shit"..that's what it all is. though i KNOW that "it is for your own good" and "it is for your future"...or even "do your homework and concentrate in class..then you don't have to keep on revising"...my foot. it doesn't really apply to people like ME who have memories of a milisecond. all my "knowledge" goes flying out of the hall the very moment the paper ends. LOVELY. really. explains why i have to KEEP ON STUDYING each time a test or exam is around the corner. my brain is practically on overload with the els board... and cheering... and com club stuff... and homework...what more do you want from me?? to study??? i simply don't have the time. with approximately 5 hours of sleep or less...due to the amount of times i wake up coughing..thinking i'm going to die coughing AND the amount of times i wake up in the middle of the night just remembering to do something... it is just impossible for me to do anything else. i don't even seem to have time to catch a breather or something. great. just great. praying real hard that after cny, all these will go slower .. a lil at least..BRAIN OVERLOAD!!!...

and of course it doesn't help when during mod math and add math, you have people talking about japanese anime right infront of you...they are going like "oh no...at this part..this person is going to die" or "he is going to kiss her right about now".. really..i don't give a damn when he kisses her or even when he dies! seriously. or better even. "oh no. the show's ended. NOW i'll never know what happened." for christ's sake.. concentrate on add math and mod math. it doesn't make a difference really. i mean. YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE STUCK IN SCHOOL WHEN HE KISSES HER OR WHEN HE DIES..so why is it that you act like having to come to school is something which cropped up last minute! oh give me a break people.. i nearly could have murdered the both of them. and it didn't really help that i was messing around with my blade in hand.

oh and have i told anyone how much i dislike people telling me to hang on and its a lil bit more .. just a lil bit more..hang in there. STOP TELLING ME TO HANG IN THERE AND THAT ITS JUST A LIL BIT MORE!. i mean seriously. its .. redundant. seeing how i WILL survive and CANNOT possibly die from it. therefore...telling me to hang on. really is redundant. adding to the fact that you are reminding me of my misery knowing that i WILL survive. oh and ITS NOT JUST A LIL BIT MORE.. just as jayne says...its A LOT more..and i should know it better than anyone else. to those who attempted to pacify me.. and advise me using "hang in there..its a lil bit more".. thanks a lot really... and i didn't mean that sarcastically.. i KNOW that you guys care for me. thanks... i really appreciate it.

think i am better off going to watch "shall we dance" or something before i start
talking to myself all over again and have people in the house think that i am crazy or something. nice. really nice if you ask me.

+ cassie over and out +

Thursday, January 27, 2005

death

my life is in mortal peril. okay. maybe not THAT exaggerating but hey! its the truth! i am dying from homework overload and lack of sleep. just like everyone else. this is really really really sad. oh wells.

fell asleep watching a drama earlier on. haha. i'm always falling asleep watching it. either that or i'm always busy or not around when its playing. i'm probably not fated to watch it or something like that. i mean. i try really, i do... to NOT fall asleep but the next time i wake up its after the show ends. how sad can it get.

today is archana's birthday. we walked into class with a birthday cake. with many thanks to mrs lee n pn geetha who were ever so kind to allow ten minutes of their period so that we could give her that little surprise. angel and i shared a present of this cow. soft toy that is. in a red box with a cow papa, cow mama an bebe cow on it. it was super cute. both toy and box. hehe. it was soft and plushy and furry and soft and...oops. okay okay. sorry. got a little carried away.

anyway. today in bio, chengkee was talking something about wriggling your toes during long and naggy assembly or speeches so that our blood flows or something like that. then she said, "but the best thing is to eat lots of breakfast. and in order to have loads of breakfast you must wake up early. and in order to wake up early, you must sleep early." there i intercepted her and said, "yar teacher. in order for us to sleep early, you mustn't give homework!" hahah.. that is when the whole class burst out laughing. heheh. chengkee had this really exasperated look on her face....shocked to hear me say such a thing. haha. thought she was going to start hyperventilate or something along that lines. haha. the look on her face really is priceless. hehe. BUT... there is a BUT... she still gave us lots of homework. not because of what i said but because we had missed so many of her classes due to the holidays. therefore, we were doing work which sc3 had already done the week before. talk about catching up. THAT we have loads to do.

other than that, we had work work and more work from mas liana. thank god pn geetha was merciful enough not to give us any work. phew. hmm..

last but not least...was caught up in school doing the els board this afternoon. somehow, i think that pn yeoh would not be pleased. definitely. NOT PLEASED AT ALL at the sight of our board. for one thing, there are two, i repeat TWO tombstones there and a blood stained moon with a witch on it. yes. i know what you are thinking. i DID kind of thought up the idea. the whole haunted mansion on a hill thing complete with a boiling and pouring over cauldron. hehe. i guess if she doesn't like it then its just too bad cause i'm not going to be doing it again. thats it. think i better ciao and finish up my bio drawing. hehe.

quote of the day
for some things money can't buy
for everything else. there's mastercard.



+ cassie over and out +

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

headache

"calling all pie to major yum"
hahah...quote unquote weebl & bob. man..they are super cute...heheh....
am having major headache now. i think it must be the heat or lack of sleep. this just isn't fair. last day of holiday and i'm having a headache. what's more...i still have mod math 2 do. totally forgot that there is mod math tomorrow. thought it was the day after. so there. i am going to be slogging my guts out tonight, doing mod math homework to pass up tomorrow else i'd be dead. sigh.
angel came over today and we went out shopping for an hour or so. then we came back to my place and we ended up doing like 4 hours of homework at the "kidney" table. heheh. or so she calls it. nth much happened today so today's post gonna be pretty short. hmm.. oh ya...no unwanted calls yesterday night!!! woohoo!!! hope its the same for tonight!!! hehe... hmm..what else...oh yar...i am totally addicted to nymphetamine and gabrielle with many thanks to alven..hahah...cradle of filth rocks!!! woohoo

+ cassie over and out +

Monday, January 24, 2005

oh no!!

oh no....like..where has all the holidays gone??? 5 days of it... gone just like that...POOF....haiz...oh wells.. ALTHOUGH i HAVE been slogging my guts out for the past few days...my homework pile doesn't seem to be reducing..nada...it seems just as high as it was a few days ago..its just really sad...

oh wells...angel and xin yu came over today..and i was still in my pjs when they came. hahaha...then i ordered pizza for lunch although angel clearly said that she was okay with biscuits or anything that was in the fridge...how could i right?? i would be a REALLY LOUSY host if i did. plus mummy came back during lunch..she would be THOROUGHLY HORRIFIED to know that i let my friends eat biscuits or whatever that was left in the fridge...heheh..

oh wells..think i better get down to doing physics or maybe draw my stupid heart that chengkee asked for oh so many years ago..hahah...



i hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
i hate the way you drive my car
i hate it when you stare
i hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
i hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme
i hate the way you're always right
i hate it when you lie
i hate it when you make me laugh
even worst when you make me cry
i hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all.

10 things i hate about you



think i have posted this poem before but what the heck. its one of the best i have come across so sue me...

+ cassie over and out +

Saturday, January 22, 2005

mcd!!!

had mcd for lunch today. yum yum. hehehe. wanna go again tomorrow!!! wheee!!! hahah. okok. i'm a lil mad but hey! whatever goes right?
oh and i bought like two books today. shopaholic ties the knot and bridget jones:the edge of reason. hehe. still left with the book vouchers that my aunt gave me. have to go spend it off sometime soon before it expires.hmm..
then went for tuition. chua's is like super packed nowadays..and super noisy too.. hmm..part of which is contributed by us la...hehe...but thing is right..like sometimes when teacher is halfway explaining then we're like all talking..then he has this REALLY exasperated look on his face but then he doesn't say anything bout it. feel kinda guilty thinking back on it :(.. oh wells
then came back and have been doing my homework ever since. oh wells.
am gonna fiddle with my template after this.hehhe

cassie over and out

Thursday, January 20, 2005

had twelve hours of sleep! TWELVE hours!!! woohoo!!!

AND i can actually feel my limbs!

however, the flu and cough bug simply doesn't wanna raise the white flag. so i'm still sick

oh wells.

mum's still in aussie

bro's off for lunch

and this is actually my second time blogging this morning

this morning when i blogged, blogger died on me and wiped out my whole post

ish




what do you do
when the one person you trust
is the one person who breaks it

what do you do
when you've reached the end of the road
and there is no turning back

what do you do
when all you want to do is cry
but everyone around you is laughing

what do you do
when even in the midst of a crowd
you feel like you are alone

what do you do
when all that you see
is something everyone is blind to

what do you do
when all you want to do is forget
but you turn around and there it is

what do you do
when you fall so hard
that you can't get up

what do you do
when you love someone so deeply
it hurts so much to even think about it

what do you do
when that someone you love
loves someone else

what do you do
when all you see is him
but all he sees is her

what do you do...

+ cassie over and out +

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

holiday!!!!

ok so technically it isn't SUPPOSED to be holidays but they ganti here...take holiday here...and VOILA....there we have it.. a 6 day holiday!! woohoo...thank the heavens.
once again came back from school at 6 or so....
ish..so tired la..think i'll carry on blogging tomorrow..

cassie over and out

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

and yet another day passes me by

it is a holiday from thursday right up to tuesday!!! woohoo!!!!
thank the heavens
haha.. omg.. you wouldn't believe how relieved everyone were when noraini told us about the whole holiday thing!
at least there's SOMETHING i can look forward to this week.
pn vasantha and noraini ALSO added that pn geetha is coming back tomorrow. at first when they told us, we were like yay!!! she's coming back!!! 5 seconds we looked at each other with horrified faces and said "oh shit. physics paper. oh damn it". haha. great. we're dead. so dead.
i haven't even touched my physics AND my mod math homework. not so much that i did not want to do. more of i have NO TIME to do! absolutely! oh no...die die die
one last thing before i head off to do SOMETHING...ANYTHING... i cannot for my life move OR EVEN feel my limbs anymore.
actually, i am really surprised that i even lasted this long. not sure how much longer i can last though. and this flu really isn't doing me any help AT ALL. all i'm doing all day is cough cough cough. sniff sniff sniff. ish. and i was shouting my lungs out during cheering some more. haiz..at the rate i'm going.....

cassie over and out

Monday, January 17, 2005

3rd week?

i have just lost track of how many weeks it has been since school started simply because it feels like a millennium. i kid you not and i am most definitely NOT exaggerating. believe me.
not supposed to be online actually. i mean GOD alone knows HOW MUCH homework i have accumulated just barely over 2 days last week but i just could not resist the temptation of coming online to check out angel's blog and to blog myself. will get down to work immediately after this. i hope. hehe. no. make that a will. i WILL and MUST get down to work after this which i doubt i will but never mind. hmm..lemme see what else.
i desperately need sleep. think i slept at 1 again last night finishing the stupid bio diagramme. and dennis just was not of ANY help at all.
hmm. yeah. speaking of which, wonder how his lil chat went.
sniff sniff. my nose is SOOOO blocked that tasha couldn't even recognise my voice when i called. hur hurr....
haha...picked that up from tasha. supposed to be a crying sound. or whatever.
sniff sniff.
woke up at 5.30 this morning cos my mummy not around to wake me up for school . she's in aussie now. so have to wake up myself.
and then right. of all things i forgot, i forgot my water. ish. so irritated at myself.
haiz.

food for thought
never fall in love if you mean to break a heart
never look into their eyes when you mean to lie
promises are meant to be kept
scars will never heal
hearts are not meant to be played with
lies are only meant to hurt
and sorry is nothing but a word

cassie over and out

Friday, January 14, 2005

another week down

i have absolutely no idea why but i seem to be pissed at myself half the time. not for something i did, but for something which is totally out of my control. i mean, i know that it's out of my control, so why should i be pissed right? but i just am. call me weird or whatever but that's just the way it is.

i miss my friends. have been so so busy lately that i can't even seem to sit down and talk with them for five full minutes without having to do two or three things at the same time. infuriating really. i mean, it's my last year in school. can't i even sit down and spend some decent time with my friends? NOOOO.... instead i am so busy tryin to cope with a million things at one time. god alone KNOWS when was the last time i saw angel AND when was the last time i actually had a decent conversation with stef! i can't believe this.... =(

and my homework! my, you wouldn't believe how much homework i've already got. and its only accumulating for three days. i know, i know. don't procrastinate right?? but what do you want me to do? trying to finish homework that is meant to be passed up on the next day is already QUITE a task. i am staying up late EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until about 12 sth 1 just trying to finish the work meant to be passed up on the next day.

oh ya. i am virtually voiceless now. my throat hurts so badly that i can barely speak. nada. nothing. ISH!!!!

and i just noticed a nice slit across my wrist. hmmm.....

cassie over and out

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

ooh...tomorrow's thursday!

hmm... lemme see...tomorrow is thursday!!!
woohoo!!! and another week is coming to an end.
that is really really NOT GOOD...
oh no...oh wells..
it's melissa's birthday today.
had it celebrated in school. just the way she wanted it.
hmm. lemme see what else.
had cheering practice today.
hope i remember the steps.
tomorrow is going to be another busy day.
am going from class to class to meeting to meeting and then come home to some more classes. that being my music class.
sigh. i have NO life.
AT ALL.
i am dead tired now. but i have to hang on as dennis is transferring sth over to me.
it had BETTER BE GOOD.
oh wells. my eyelids are just gonna like shut any moment.
meaning i HAVE TO GO.
ish.
oh wells.

cassie over and out

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

remain positive

reminder to self. *must remain positive. no matter what happens. must remain positive. death is not an option. not now. not ever.*

first of all, many spanks to angel who left that cute lil note in my bag the other day! nearly threw it away thinking it was scrap paper until i remembered that i put nothing in my bag's pocket except my prefect notebook. hehe.

second week of school and i have been staying back for two consecutive days. tomorrow will be no exception as there is cheering practice.

hard to imagine this is going to be my last year in convent. my last year of school! how ironical. when i was young, i just couldn't wait to grow up. and now that i'm all grown up, i want to be young again. haha. oh wells. we "senior citizens" as mrs. koo would put it. now what would THAT make her? hmm... *raises eyebrow deep in thought*

i am like totally in love with david tao now. his songs are awesome. have been replaying his songs over and over and over again on my player. hehe.

loads of add math work today. sigh. i think we are supposed to hand it in on .. thursday? yeah, i think so. on top of which, i have an essay to hand in for godmama's class tomorrow, AND chua's add math work. oh wells. my work pile is never ending. it is on a perpetual build up EVERY SINGLE DAY but that is how life is it not? yes, i HAVE heard a it a million times, that i am just going to have to deal with it and NOT be a loser, but can i not just whine and complain even a LIL bit? oh wells.

prefect orientation in full swing this week. have given my first free signature to su jen. my second free signature is off with my junior. i was confirmed giving her my signature for free anyway. oh wells. i DO remember doing prefect orientation last year. some seniors were kind. but some? sigh. can vividly remember dee asking a junior to sing twinkle twinkle little star, complete with action and all. haha. that was a good laugh!

hmm, there is a lot more but i do not think i have the time to jot all THAT down here right now. just leaving out bits and pieces. hehe. till next time, ciaoz...

quote of the day
friends are like parachutes. if they aren't there the first time, you would not be needing them ever!

cassie over and out

Sunday, January 09, 2005

its'a the end of the week

as if my week hadn't been bad enough, it had to end with a bang. and i DO mean that quite literally. my stupid chair *you know those twirling chairs which allows you to adjust the height*.. yeah well, when i got up, the stupid chair sprung up, catching my finger with it between the table. yeah. as lyn would put it. my finger got "kiap" between the stupid table AND the chair. my third finger that is. which is now, rather disabled of any actions at all. how am i typing? well, i am using my 2nd and 4th finger. that's right, my third finger of my right hand is now, NUMB AND RED.... great...just great....explains why i am blogging now, simply because i CANNOT lift a pen to write my stupid essay. and though i let out a rather loud yelp, no one, i repeat NO ONE in the whole house came to my rescue. which is rather sad. oh wells.

today was rather uneventful. godmama woke me up at 11 asking for some people's number. and after i sent the numbers to her, she thanked me, and wished me a good day, doing her homework. ish..she had to remind me...but like, HOW ON EARTH do i write a speech? speeches and i are JUST not acquainted and i WOULD NOT like to make its acquaintance either. sigh.

was stuck with my add math for TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS!! can you imagine the nerve of it???

life is just SO unfair i tell you...imagine spending a sunday for crying out loud, stuck at home doing homework. homework which i have YET TO FINISH. lovely.

hmm, expect a long day in school tomorrow. not going to be home until 5sth, when i get back from tuition that is. sick. it's SICK i tell you.

nice way to start the year. JUST NICE.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

one week down

first week of school is gone and done with.
in this week, i think i have just about experienced any darn emotion there is for a human heart to actually feel.
disappointment, anxiety, fury, anger, hate, hope, love, appreciation, and the list goes on and on.
i have found out just about how hypo-critical one can be.
how heartless one can be.
i could go on all night.
in this two days alone, i have found out many a thing.
one or two good, the rest, just plain bad.
i just want everything to end.
i feel drained, sick, tired, emotionless and most of all drowning in self hate.
sad life i've got there.
and it has only been the first week of the year.


fact of the day
i can't actually spell "disappointed"
i spell it as "dissapointed"
what crap
ish

cassie over and out

Friday, January 07, 2005

my happy ending & forgotten

let's talk this over. its not like we're dead. was it something i did. was it something you said? don't leave me hanging in a city so dead. held up so high on such a breakable thread. you were all the things i thought i knew and i thought we could be. you were everything, everything that i wanted. we were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it. all of our memories so close to me just fade away. all this while you were pretending, so much for my happy ending. you've got your dumb friends. i know what they say. they tell you i'm difficult but so are they. but they don't know me, do they even know you? all the things you hide from me, all the shit that you do. it's nice to know that you were there. thanks for acting like you care and making me feel like i was the only one. it's nice to know we had it all. thanks for watching as i fall and letting me know we were done. so much for my happy ending.

+ my happy ending +
+ avril lavigne +

you had it all
everything right in front of your eyes
but now you blew your chance
you've lost my trust and so have you hers
i have told you once before
and now i'm telling you again
never mess with us both
or pay with your life that you shall
now get outta here
and never come back to sight
get outta my heart
get outta my mind
get outta my life
just get the hell out

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

third day and counting

ever realise that misfortunes don't come singly and yes there IS such a word in existence. "singly" that is.

my life has been nothing short of disappointments, disappointments and more disappointments.

it is only the third day of the term but it feels like it has been a millennium since monday. i have got no idea why. but it just does.

akin to what i told jayne, its only the 5th of january but i'm already hating every minute of it. NO ONE, i repeat NO ONE is supposed to hate the start of the year but here i am hating EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

my ankle is currently, i dunno. dislocated? twisted? all i know is that its awfully pain. hope i make it to tuition later today. sigh.

this is too painful to bear. all the disappointments in my life. EVERYTHING. i hate everything, so much so that i think i'm the cause of it all. THEREFORE, I HATE MYSELF. there. nice, sweet and short.

today is just too bleak, disappointing and most of all, i don't know what.

i wake up in the morning
put on my face
the one that's gonna get me
through another day
doesn't really matter
how i feel inside
this life is like a game sometimes

avril lavigne
naked

cassie over and out

Monday, January 03, 2005

first day of school

i have no idea why. but i can't seem to actually blog with the music on. seems to disturb my flow of thoughts. hmmm...maybe like what godmama says...you think faster than you can write, or in this case type. my mind is like on overdrive all the time. its a wonder i haven't gone bonkers yet. really. i mean like, its either im thinking bout one thing or the other, or i'm worrying bout one thing or another. there is just SOMETHING not right with the way my mind works.

oh wells. that was not what i came to blog about. not about how my brain works at least. oh never mind. putting that aside, today is the first day of school of the year 2005. not really a year i am looking forward to. one thing is spm, the other is knowing very well that i will not be seeing my friends on a near daily basis from next year onwards. but that will be something i will worry about when the time comes. not as if i have not enough to worry about.

so they always say. new year brings about new things. in this case, a new classroom after being in my old classroom for about... 3 years maybe? .. yeah...it HAS been three years. oh gosh. how time flies. new classmates. all the smart smart people in my class. which makes me feel really sad right now. told that to godmama. and she was like "so what do you think you are?" and i was like "average?!?!?!!" and she shot me THAT look. though that ONE look of hers paints a thousand expressions. or rather. it conveys A LOT of things, depending on how you look at it. oh wells.

wat else, hmm...have gotten mrs koo as my class teacher again. she must be like "WHAT??? I'M STUCK WITH THOSE BUNCH OF MISFITS AGAIN?!?!?!" PLUS, our class being at an oh-so-strategic place of directly above the office and principal's room....muahahah....chance to get into trouble...though although i don't actually go looking for trouble, trouble comes looking for me. its like im a magnet. attracting trouble all the time. oh wells.

school was rather uneventful today, not much work was done. i can only imagine how much fun 5sc3 is gonna be getting, with the whole bunch of my "misfit" friends there, i'm not talking about you angel, AND godmama as their english teacher. kinda sad and disappointed. sigh. kinda dislike the idea of being stuck with SOOOO many smart people. i am like...outta place there!!!! :'(... i mean, its my last year in school....why can't i choose to be in the same class with my friends for ONE LAST FREAKING YEAR?!?!....i HATE my life...

after school, was add math tuition.....wasnt TOO bad i guess......only things, i nearly fell off my chair when xin yu reminded me about my oh so cute guys list....lolz.....it's been a while since i fell off the chair. but in this case NEARLY....hmm...that's about as much as i can remember happening today. loads of other stuff but not of particular interest. have an EXTREMELY boring life. dreadful is all.

:'( .. feel like crying all over again...

cassie over and out

Saturday, January 01, 2005

happy new year to everyone but me

my title reads happy new year to everyone but me.

that is exactly how i'm feeling right about now.

i can tell exactly how this year is going to be like.

there's gonna be a lot of laughter, a lot of tears, a lot of worrying, a lor of frustration, a lot of name calling, a lot of backstabbing, a lot of anticipation bla bla bla, the list goes on and on...

the new year brings about an air of not so much anticipation but a lot of worrying. to me that is. to anyone who reads this but does not feel me, no worries. you are okay. i'm the one who's not. and to anyone who DOES feel me, hey, join the club of the people in the sinking boat.

as it is, i woke up this morning, dreading pretty much the rest of the day. as i had physics tuition straight after lunch. not very nice. not exactly the way i wanted 2 start my year but yeah. that was EXACTLY how it was alright. starting off the year with tuition. WHAT A WAY to start, it's telling me something. i can SOOOO feel it. sigh.

to those who have finished their schooling years in uniforms, please bugger off and stop rubbing it in. it is bad enough already without having people to come and tell me "have a "great" year ahead and may you do well in spm". i repeat people. DO NOT tell me that my doom is looming once again. i am PISSED enough as it is without people having to come tear my heart out and just about every organ in my body, THEN come and rub salt in the wound and last but not least let me die a slow but sure death by skinning me alive, rubbing more salt, then cutting me up bit by bit and leaving me in the middle of the city, where oh i don't know..just about every single damn bacteria lives. and if anyone .. i repeat, ANYONE isn't happy about anything said in this whole damn post so far then BUZZ OFF. i need no one telling me what the hell is going to happen next in my life, and i especially do NOT need some people telling me exactly how wonderful life can get. NO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN SO GET OUTTA MY WAY BEFORE I SCREAM SOME PROFANITY THAT WILL EVEN BRING A SAILOR TO SHAME.

argh. i just have nothing else to say. if anyone is perturbed or disturbed by this post, please kindly DO NOT call the authorities. just leave me here to bleed.. thank you very much. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

i cannot find a way to describe it
it's there inside
all i do is hide
i wish that it would just go away
what would you do
you do if you knew
what would you do

avril lavigne
take me away

cassie over and out