Saturday, January 29, 2005


its a sick world out there. there is someone who is tagging my board using my name..which makes me wonder...who exactly is it who is tagging using my name? seriously. i can't think of anyone, and i do mean ANYONE who would even WANT to be my so called "imposter"...i mean like..WHY ME??? of all sick, delusional, hallucinating, depressed, suicidal nut out there...WHY ME?? oh wells. just so that you know..whoever you are.. I am the LAST person you would want to be like. go imitate someone else. better still. GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN..

with that said...let's move onto something even more depressing than the fact that there is someone out there trying to imitate me. worst still. want to ACTUALLY BE like me...the thought is nauseating. lemme see. i have approximately one million things running through my head. deadlines. things to be done. things to remember. and MANY MANY MORE things that i have to worry about. a.k.a the whole com club dedication thing. have to pull it off within a week to send it out in time for valentine's day. let's just pray...slowly pray...that i don't suffer from a mental breakdown due to stress or anything. and the teacher's aren't exactly helping. with the amount of homework that they give. just let it pile for a day or two. and voila. you have homework as high or maybe even higher than mount everest. quote unquote alven.. "steaming pile of shit"..that's what it all is. though i KNOW that "it is for your own good" and "it is for your future"...or even "do your homework and concentrate in class..then you don't have to keep on revising" foot. it doesn't really apply to people like ME who have memories of a milisecond. all my "knowledge" goes flying out of the hall the very moment the paper ends. LOVELY. really. explains why i have to KEEP ON STUDYING each time a test or exam is around the corner. my brain is practically on overload with the els board... and cheering... and com club stuff... and homework...what more do you want from me?? to study??? i simply don't have the time. with approximately 5 hours of sleep or less...due to the amount of times i wake up coughing..thinking i'm going to die coughing AND the amount of times i wake up in the middle of the night just remembering to do something... it is just impossible for me to do anything else. i don't even seem to have time to catch a breather or something. great. just great. praying real hard that after cny, all these will go slower .. a lil at least..BRAIN OVERLOAD!!!...

and of course it doesn't help when during mod math and add math, you have people talking about japanese anime right infront of you...they are going like "oh this part..this person is going to die" or "he is going to kiss her right about now".. really..i don't give a damn when he kisses her or even when he dies! seriously. or better even. "oh no. the show's ended. NOW i'll never know what happened." for christ's sake.. concentrate on add math and mod math. it doesn't make a difference really. i mean. YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE STUCK IN SCHOOL WHEN HE KISSES HER OR WHEN HE why is it that you act like having to come to school is something which cropped up last minute! oh give me a break people.. i nearly could have murdered the both of them. and it didn't really help that i was messing around with my blade in hand.

oh and have i told anyone how much i dislike people telling me to hang on and its a lil bit more .. just a lil bit more..hang in there. STOP TELLING ME TO HANG IN THERE AND THAT ITS JUST A LIL BIT MORE!. i mean seriously. its .. redundant. seeing how i WILL survive and CANNOT possibly die from it. therefore...telling me to hang on. really is redundant. adding to the fact that you are reminding me of my misery knowing that i WILL survive. oh and ITS NOT JUST A LIL BIT MORE.. just as jayne says...its A LOT more..and i should know it better than anyone else. to those who attempted to pacify me.. and advise me using "hang in there..its a lil bit more".. thanks a lot really... and i didn't mean that sarcastically.. i KNOW that you guys care for me. thanks... i really appreciate it.

think i am better off going to watch "shall we dance" or something before i start
talking to myself all over again and have people in the house think that i am crazy or something. nice. really nice if you ask me.

+ cassie over and out +


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