Friday, September 30, 2005

chemistry tuition

chemistry tuition today was like.. bad.. like real bad..the whole two years that i have been with mr lem, i have never seen him in such a bad mood before. today was the first day that he really admonished and reprimanded us. it was real scary to see him so mad. the whole class kept a pin-drop silence for a full five minutes but returned to their usual misdemeanor and rigour. can't blame mr lem at all. class was already so noisy. and every other minute he was calling out someone's name asking them to stop talking and to keep their phones. and today, he even caught them playing card games at the back of class. he kept saying that if we did not want to study, we should not bother attending class. and that he is not hard up for our money or anything. and that he has been extremely patient with our class. he kept to his word, unlike the past times, and he did not teach for twenty minutes until class ended. in fact, he let us off early. can tell that he really wants the best for us, but yet the class keeps making things difficult for him. it is pretty obvious that he is having a hard time handling our class and that he really wants to give up already but he just goes on. sigh.

and it did not quite help that immediately after class ended, i HAD to bump into someone i totally had no wish of seeing ever again in my entire life. but i should have known my luck better than that.

sometimes, i wonder if this whole life thing is someone's idea of a cruel joke. i mean.. how can so many bad things happen all at once? and today in school, something really freaky happened. there's just been too many deaths in this year and the last. and yet, i can foretell another coming. i'm just praying and hoping really hard that it does not happen during my exam period, just like what mrs e said.

i think probably the only good thing that happened today was being able to "hang out" at the big table with gracie's permission. oh and the lasagne xin and i had over lunch. twas great being able to spend some time with xin alone. haven't done so in a long time.

i think i need a hug.

+ cassie goes off in search for angel +

Saturday, September 24, 2005

3 more papers!

finally! i am here to update my blog. after oh-so-long.. even my tag board is like.. so dead.. oh wells.. can't help it.. i had two gruelling weeks of exams! T W O!!! and it HAD to start with bio.. of all papers! oh wells.. one more week to go.. no wait.. half a week more to go.. was supposed to be studying physics.. but so far lyn and i have done nada.. just 3 more papers to go.. *mutters to self... come on.. i can make it!* oh don't mind me.. i'm just in a somewhat psychotic mood today. haha.. its the exams i'm telling you!

today we made a trip to the jail.. i think there was at least 70++ of us.. with bout 5 teachers.. and they were made traffic wardens.. hahahah..esp pn lee with her white blouse and pleated red skirt.. hehehe.. we spent like.. two nearly three hours there.. the smell of intoxicating! seriouslyi think it was the smell more than anything that put me off... ergh.. we went into the cells.. the cooking area.. the bathing area.. the dark room area where they isolate the convicts.. the oh so many areas... 11 years of schooling oh-so-very-close to the jail and today is the very first time i have been anywhere remotely near that place.. it is H-U-G-E i'm telling you! HUGE! wonder they were transporting all those prisoners every single day 2 months or so ago.. creating a ruckus with their sirens and pissing the hell outta the form 5s.. grr.. anyway.. as i was saying.. there was like so many parts to the whole place... but the highlight of the whole tour i think was the part where they had a demo and also a video of the whipping.. we witnessed this guy who had a whopping maximum sentence of the whip. twenty freakin times. supposedly.. when you are caught for possessing firearms, they'd mete out the maximum punishment. it was bad.. we saw the whole video of him being whipped twenty times.. seeing the skin split and having to go through the same thing over and over again.. for 20 times.. we have come to a conclusion that he has never been more thankful to hear the word 20 in his whole life! haha.. but the thing that really irritated us was that even after that 20 times of the rotan.. he was still selamba only.. walking like nothing like that.. talk about being unrepentant.. guess he'd never sit the same way again.. lol..

think i shall stop here today. a warning for all who are about to visit the jail.. bring something to stuff inside your nose. the stench is ultimately unbearable.. i would imagine that they would have cleaned up the place before the allowed visitors in.. hard to imagine the condition of it before this.. ergh.. remind me not to possess firearms, kill someone, do drugs or anything illegal for that matter.. the thought of having to stay in a place like THAT is more than enough to eliminate ALL errant thoughts of committing crime.. hehe..

quote of the day
love is when two people who care for each other get confused

+ cassie over and out +

Saturday, September 03, 2005

trials abound

date : 3rd september 2005
place : my room
time : 1900 hours
weather outside : cool with no breeze and slight humidity
weather inside : very much cooler due to blasting air conditioning system.
current song playing on itunes : I'm With You by Avril Lavigne
current mood : frustrated and easily irritable

can't really remember how i spent last weekend. therefore, i am going to start off with monday.

monday was the first day back to school after our 2nd term break of a week. woke up somewhat late thinking, "shit. do i HAVE to go to school?" today was the day we were supposed to do some crossword puzzle for some language week or another which no one gave two hoots about resulting in lim pek screaming his heads off during assembly. it was also somebody's extremely mental idea of torturing the form fives as we sat in the blistering heat the whole day until the electricity came back on just as we were packing our bags and were heading home. talk about sick. i, for one, slept through three periods.

tuesday. i can't remember tuesday. no wait. i remember. today was the day some inti lady came and was boasting, though she had pointed out the fact to us that she DID NOT come with the intention of boasting about inti college, about how great inti was doing. how many scholarships that waived tuition fees altogether. how our seniors were doing. i also found out that my aunt was very popular. with the guys. in inti. as miss stephanie would say it. and yes, there were full stops. pr being her usual self was screeching on the mike going on and on about how great inti is, placing inti on a pedestal.

wednesday. malaysia's independence day. as well as my dad's birthday. twas a quiet affair this year at my residence as my dad wanted no celebrations at all. had tuition at mrs e's where i got to see daniel's recently rebonded hair which he claimed to be natural.

thursday. i don't remember thursday.

friday. twas the prefect party. wasn't all that great or fancy but who are we to complain. at least we GOT a party. no cream puffs though. however, we seniors did get a little something. we got this handphone pouch which was in the shape of clothes. as well as this other key chain like thing. went for the second bm class today instead thinking that the party would end somewhat late. sat behind this guy who was giggling like a girl. couldn't help but burst out laughing each time he giggled.

today. nothing much happened. went to the doc's this morning. watched in fascination as she drew out my blood. went for tuition afterwards.

date : 3rd september 2005
place : my room
time : 1930 hours
weather outside : of higher humidity as compared to humidity level at 1900 hours
weather inside : cool due to blasting air conditioning system.
current song playing on itunes : hanging by a moment - lifehouse
current mood : dazed

then, i hated to hate.
then, i loved to love.
you came into my life.
you taught me how to hate.
you taught me how to love.
now, i hate to love.
now, i love to hate.
now, i love myself for having hated you.
now, i hate myself for having loved you.
will i ever learn how to love again?
will i ever learn not to hate again?
you played with my heart.
you messed with my mind.
and now, all that is left,
is one confused mind.
one broken heart.
one me.

+ cassie over and out +