Tuesday, October 31, 2006

law reform

like as if im REALLY going to do the law reform seminar. i've already gotten enough credits to pass the goddamn subject.. so yeahh.. and there's no resit for this one.. its either 100% or you fail it..
so hm. i'm in the com room right now with my legal studies teacher NOT TOO FAR away.. hahah.. she thinks im typing out my speech for the seminar.. but really.. this is what i'm doin.. lol..
stats teacher wants to see all the homework she gave from week before on thursday.. will go home and do it after this... feel like chocolates now.. arghh.. goddamn me and my stupid lil cravings..
i know i know dennis.. my posts aren't exactly the most mind stimulating ones around these days.. but really... can you blame me and my depleting braincells?
ooh ooh btw.. ms smith told me that there was this uni kid who OD-ed on NoDoz.. wonder how much he/she took.. maybe it was quite a bit + lack of sleep.. apparently the kid just passed out and his/her pulse just stopped.. not cool..

quote of the day!
- squirrels are cute! don't insult the squirrels! -

happy halloween/all hallows eve by the way.. hehehe..
might do a lil post later on on taboos and crap like that but hmm.. depends on my mood.. looks like im going to be walking home today.. so yeahhhh....

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

fuck bands

fuck bands-n. fuck bands are black bands which are broken by the person who wants to have sex with you. which means, if a girl breaks a fuck band you are wearing, she wants to fuck you. fuck bands come in many different colours. each representing a different sexual activity. black is for fucking and blue is oral and the list goes on and on.

there you have it val.. thats what fuck bands are for.. hahaha.. and no, though i have only 10 out of 17 of my black ones, i have not been getting any. and just because celine and i are wearing fuck bands, it does not mean we want any either. it is mainly for aesthetic reasons. that and because we are lesbian partners! hahahaha

oh and a lil shout out to dennis.. sorry if my posts aren't exactly the most mind stimulating ones around.. it really doesn't help that all thats left of my brain cells are now completely devoted to math and econs.. that and my sleeping hours are whacked.. as usual.. i woke up at 4 this morning.. went online for one hour plus.. THEN tried to go back to sleep.. but by the time i fell asleep, it was time to wake up. not cool. then there was stats..

fuck bands and a glass of wine!

that is my exact wish right now.. to have fuck bands and a glass of wine..

lemme explain myself!

last year, celine and i bought a whole bunch of fuck bands.. 17 black ones.. each representing our age.. and 3 clear ones, blue, green, white and red ones as well... and just about a year after.. i'm only left with 1o black ones.. my clear ones, the white and red ones.. no.. i have not been getting any in case you were wondering.. broke all of em but three... thomas stole one.. vinny-two.

as for the glass of wine.. hmm... was tellin han ern how i was considering having a glass THEN showing up to stats... hahahahah.. that would be interesting.. but mehh... wnt do so.. maybe on the last day of school... but not when exams are only one month away..

btw... for those who ARE gettin some.. a lil bird named tasha has recommended durex for protection.. specifically the strawberry flavoured one... by the way.. the lil bird is 18 and knocked up.. *rofl* hahaha.. that lil bird is soooo gonna murder me! i know you love me tasha.. i love me too! hahahaha...

Friday, October 20, 2006

5 in the morning

thats right.. i'm bloggin at 5 in the morning.. don't ask me what i'm doin up so early.. i barely got 5 hours of sleep.. but i'm so wide awake right now... meeting up with michael, yi lin and vin at 10ish at the mall... soyeahh.. hmm.. sorry my posts have been so emo off late.. please know that i tend to blog at the peak of my emoness.. so yeahhh.. im fine for now people.. no worries! :D

hmm.. i sound like quite the idiot when i get tipsy.. but i can't help it.. i just won't shut up.. yesterday, my aunt and i had a very interesting conversation

me : how can virgin be more virgin than virgin is?
aunt : thats why its extra virgin!
me : but virgin is virgin what.. where got extra extra one!?
aunt : its like girls.. there are pure girls.. then there are pure pure girls.. thats where the extra comes in
me: what the fuck?! that doesn't make any sense!

just in case you are wondering, we were talking about extra virgin olive oil. cos we were watchin the food channel while drinking wine and eating nuts.. hhahaha.. yes.. on a school night.. only difference is that i don't have school today.. cos its study leave/exams.. and i don't have any papers today.. yay!

i know i said something else quite stoopid yesterday.. to vinny.. while i was on the phone.. on the verge of passing out..

ooh ooh..i remember

me : if i suddenly go all quiet on you.. scream into the phone
vin : scream into the phone?? okayyyyy...
me : yeah.. i might pass out.. i've been drinking.. *giggles like mad*
me : yeahh.. gonna be drinking every night from now on with aunt sue.. hahahahaha
me : ooh ahh.. bed.. comfy... didn't think i'd make it to the bed from the couch actually.. i was t
too lazy to move..
vin : oh god.. she's trashed..
me : i'm not drunkkkkkk..! i knowwww what i'm talkin about.......
vin : yeah.. im right.. she's trashed..
me : i'm not trashedddddd!!!! why won't you believe me?? i'm just a lil.. happy.. *giggles some
vin : yeah. sure. okay dear. whatever you say hun.
me : i'm not drunk.. i'm just a lil tipsy.. a lil happy...
vin : how pink are you???
me : barely there..
vin : i asked how pink are you.. not how is your mind!
me : yeah thats what i said.. its barely pink....
vin : yep.. she's drunk alright
me : i'm not drunk!!! im just happy... don't talk to me like im drunk....
vin : dear.. listen to what you are saying and tell me whether or not you sound drunk...
me : hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
me : oof.. i think i'm gonna pass out....

okay. so maybe that wasn't so funny. but i swear to god it was yesterday when i was in bed on the phone with him trying to string together sentences while trying not to pass out.. hahahaha

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


i'm tired of everything.
i'm tired of life.
i'm tired of breathing.
i'm tired of living.
but most of all,
i'm tired of trying.

Monday, October 16, 2006

one year and moving on

it has been a year since her passing.

scary how time passes me by just like that.

please know that you will always be in my thoughts and i still miss you ever so dearly.

the trip back this year would definitely be different without your presence.

sorry i wasn't there to see you for the last time last year, but some things are just beyond my control.

never really had the chance to get to know you or the story of your life.

guess i will never get to find out now.

your granddaughter.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

i want to be happy

just realised that over the last two months i have posted a lot of "i want" posts.. very self centred and selfish i know.. but hm.

i want to be happy. i don't know why i've been so emo these few days. its worrying the people around me. and its annoying the hell out of me as well. but no worries.. i won't cut myself.. i'm vain and don't like scars and cutting leaves scars..

but yeah.. lately i have lost sight of a lot of things.. somewhere along the way, i have forgotten how its like to be really happy and to have lots of fun and not have to worry about anything.

i really want to be happy. but i don't know how anymore. everything seems to be wearing me down. but like wy said, i need to pull myself together. exams aren't that far away. i really need to concentrate. now is not the time to breakdown. but sadly, thats the point where i am now. at the point of breaking down.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


perfection is overrated. i know. i have said it over a million times. but yet i still try to achieve perfection for my parents. i try to be the perfect daughter. yet no one told me you could be more than perfect. i'm sorry i missed the memo. could someone tell me how to be beyond perfect?
i've tried my best. i really have. its tiring. they would love me for who they make me to be. nothing more. nobody would ever see past all of this. i'm just who they want me to be. its just being piled on. layers and layers of "me". someone help me, please. i don't know how much further i can go. i need a break too. i swear to god i did do my work. i really did. why won't she believe me? i have been working my ass of the entire term three. i really have. and its not as if i did not produce any results. i have gotten nothing less than a merit for all my internals this year. i want a life too.

Monday, October 02, 2006

call me when you're sober - evanescence-

don't cry to me//if you loved me//you would be here with me//you want me//come find me//make up your mind

should've let you fall//lose it all//so maybe you can remember yourself//can't keep believing//we're only deceiving ourselves//and im sick of the lies//and you're too late

don't cry to me//if you loved me//you would be here with me//you want me//come find me//make up your mind

couldn't take the blame//sink with shame//must be exhausting to lose your own game//selfishly hated//no wonder you're jaded//you can't play the victim this time//and you're too late

dont cry to me if you loved me//you would be here with me//you want me come find me//make up your mind

you never call me when you're sober//you only want it cos its over

how could i have burned paradise?//how could i//you were never mine

so don't cry to me//if you loved me//you would be here with me//dont lie to me//just get your things//i've made up your mind

+ i don't wanna be just another girl from high school in the pages of your diary. sometimes, it feels like you're the cause of my pain and misery. and all because i love you so. +

all i want

all i want is to be me. is it too much that i'm asking for?

the things people say when they are drunk part 2

"you know.. the both of you make such a cute couple! you two are soo great together.. you should stay together! the both of you are perfect for each other! like.. like.. erm.. like... cream cheese and cookies!" -amy.. not so sober-

Sunday, October 01, 2006

please, me.

i once read a fridge magnet that said "i can only please one person a day. today is not your day. tomorrow isn't looking too good either".

its tiring. it really is. sometimes, i feel like my sole purpose in life is to please other people. don't ask me why i still do it then. its just me. i don't like disappointing people or letting them down. never mind that what i want will be pushed away.. far far away to the lil inconspicuous corner where no one will know.. as long as everyone else around me is happy. that's all that matters, no?

most days, its alright with me. really it is.. but not today. today i just feel like screaming


but no. thats not gonna be me. not in this lifetime. not when im yvonne mak. not when im still me.

one day i will break. and when i do, i can only say i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt anyone. i never did. its just that life pushed me a lil too far. so much so that it will never know how far its gone until i am over the edge.

i know im not perfect. perfection is over-rated. but i try. and try i do.