please, me.

i once read a fridge magnet that said "i can only please one person a day. today is not your day. tomorrow isn't looking too good either".

its tiring. it really is. sometimes, i feel like my sole purpose in life is to please other people. don't ask me why i still do it then. its just me. i don't like disappointing people or letting them down. never mind that what i want will be pushed away.. far far away to the lil inconspicuous corner where no one will know.. as long as everyone else around me is happy. that's all that matters, no?

most days, its alright with me. really it is.. but not today. today i just feel like screaming

I WANT A LIFE TOO! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO PLEASE EVERYONE! CAUSE ITS TIRING.. FOR ONCE.. I WANNA BE THE IRRESPONSIBLE ONE.. I WANT TO BE THE ONE PEOPLE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT.. FOR ONCE.. I WANT TO BE ME.

but no. thats not gonna be me. not in this lifetime. not when im yvonne mak. not when im still me.

one day i will break. and when i do, i can only say i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt anyone. i never did. its just that life pushed me a lil too far. so much so that it will never know how far its gone until i am over the edge.

i know im not perfect. perfection is over-rated. but i try. and try i do.