monday again

let's see...school today was somewhat uneventful...what with all the teachers gone off for the whole mssd netball thing.. had four free periods in the morning but spent it doing a bit of est and ... a graph...can't help it really..my concentration level at that unearthly hours of the morning is close to nil. so there. it's amazing that i even got anything done to begin with.

next up, today was probably the very first time i saw angel scold the girls. shouting at them to keep quiet and all. jayne, kysha and i were thoroughly surprised at angel. it was probably the first time any of us saw her react like that towards the girls. an eye opener. plus...esther doesn't seem herself this few days. usually she'd be shouting into the mike telling the girls to shut up and get into their lines. however, these few days that she handled assembly, she didn't really say much. only at the end she commented that the discipline was horrible and told the girls to buck up. is that weird or what.

+ cassie over and out +

there goes my weekend

i'm hating my life more and more as the weeks go by. i want to study but my workload is like never ending. sad. sad. and they really need to stop replacing on saturdays. it takes a heck load out of the students. was in school until 1sth on yesterday. then had to rush for tuition. then came back. fell asleep. went for dinner until 9sth. came back. bath. did a bit of work and the minute my head hit the pillow, i was in lala land already. as if that wasn't bad enough. i was at home pretty much the whole day today doing homework and i'm still not done! this is really irritating the hell out of me. and it's back to school all over again tomorrow. "yayness" yeah right. think i'll just die in school tomorrow. thank god there is no chemistry tomorrow. at least i'll have two periods to catch up on a bit of sleep and the rest of my work. also, i think that there is a possibility of no english too! which means 3 periods free. woohoo. hope some other teacher doesn't decide to come in and give some class. that'd be just really bad. tummy is aching for some funny reason. ish. can my life not get any worst than this? people say that misfortunes don't come singly. it is so true. they come by the weeks. nearly twisted my ankle twice today. nearly fell off the bed as i had a little black out. as if my week wasn't bad enough already.hmm. think i better had off to get SOME MORE work done. which reminds me. they are showing bedazzled tonight. cool show that one is!

+ cassie over and out +

not again

1. i wanna get out of malaysia and i wanna get outta here fast.

2. there is school tomorrow. a full monday timetable and mas liana's not coming in which means pn. geetha will most probably come in tomorrow.

3. i wanna get out of this hell hole and i wanna get out of it now.

4. after which there will be physics tuition. not too sure if i can survive it. positively hate having to go to school then head straight to tuition.

5. i wanna get outta here.

6. later on, i have a dinner which i am absolutely reluctant to go for. particularly because of where it's held at.

7. really i do.

8. this week seems to be getting from bad to worst.

9. i wanna get out of malaysia and i wanna get out of here fast.

10. being different does not equate to being weird.

11. just wanna leave all this behind.

12. just cos people dare to be different, it doesn't make them not-so-normal.

13. put in that position, you will actually come to realise its not so nice after all. just because you choose to be different from the rest, you are thus labelled as weird. ever tried walking down the street just to have everyone who is walking past you stare at you just because you look different from the rest? well. it's not nice. NOT NICE AT ALL.

+ cassie over and out +

sigh

once again, i find myself feeling excruciatingly stupid. then again. angel DID say that you can't control your feelings so just stop denying it. i'm at a total loss. and my mood swings seem to be getting from bad to worst. like at 4sth5sth... angel and i were laughing our heads off. and now i'm like in mourning..depressed over sth which is not...sigh...so everyone has noticed the phone cover back on...yet the only 2 who ever bothered bringing it up are jie and xin yu.. hmm... oh wells...

+ cassie over and out +

FUCK

i'm sick. i'm tired. but most of all i don't want to wake up another morning knowing that i'm still alive. promises are nothing but empty promises. broken. every single one of them. never kept. should have known better than to believe in promises. its always one thing or the other. just tell it to my face. don't keep making promises one after the other. then break them. then make a new promise. then break it again. i'm sick of it already. i know i'm stupid. i know i'm gullible. i know i'm naive. so just god damn stop taking advantage of me already. it hurts. really it does. it really does. i've never wanted something so badly in my life. i've waited long enough and i'm sick of waiting already. so there. and respect me for who i am. if i'm going to be listening to operatic metal then so be it. i don't see any problem with that. doesn't mean that it's not mainstream enough then its not good. i'm not weird. i'm just different from the rest. i can't help it if i don't listen to whatever genres you listen to. i've never said anything about the stuff you listen to so why should you say anything about mine? if me listening to something not mainstream enough to be played on radio around here is not good enough then i have nothing more to say.

+ cassie over and out +

all she wanted...

"I didn't do anything. I swear. I really do." Jennifer pleaded with her teacher in between sobs.

"If you didn't do it, then prove it to me. prove it to me why you were behaving so suspiciously in the teacher's lounge. You knew that the test papers were kept there didn't you? You wanted to steal a glance at the papers to find out the questions which were set for the examinations isn't it?" the teacher said.

"I swear I did not know that the papers were there. I was just helping Katie look for her math book." she replied looking to Katie for some form of help.

"Is that right Katie?" the teacher turned to stare at Katie.

"Umm...umm..." Katie could barely utter a word. She felt helpless as she saw Jennifer being reprimanded for something she hadn't do. All Katie wanted was a glimpse of the examination questions and so she asked Jennifer to tag along, saying that she wanted to look for her math book. However, she did not manage to call out to Jennifer as she saw the teacher striding along into the room. She only but managed to escape. And now Jennifer had to shoulder the blame. She did not even know what was going on to begin with, Katie said to herself. I'm sorry cried out a little voice inside her head. I'm really sorry Jennifer, but I can't afford to get into trouble once more.

"Trying to push the blame to others now are we?" the teacher glared at Jennifer like a hawk eyeing on its prey.

Back home, after Jennifer's mother had been called to school, she had received a taste of the whip. There were bruises all over her hands and legs. She only managed to hobble into her room whimpering along the way.

"Why won't anyone believe me? I really did not do anything. Why wouldn't Katie stand up for me? We really were there only to search for her math book. Why wouldn't anyone believe me? I swear I did not do anything" she cried.

The next morning, Jennifer's mother found her dead lying in a pool of blood. Next to her was a note saying "Mom, I really did not do anything. Please believe me. I love you now and always."

The one thing Jennifer wanted was for someone to believe in her and to stand up for her. Yet the one thing she wanted was the one thing she did not have.

+ when no one believes in you, just remember that i believe in you +
+ when no one is there for you, look around and you'll see that i have never left you +

+ cassie over and out +

monday blue

its a monday once again and for once in a long long time, i actually came back home for lunch before going off for tuition. it's been a while. sigh.

angel messaged me saying that dt caught some of the girls in the computer room and shooeed the back to class. not to mention, the computer room was in a total mess. that brought my mood to a total nose dive down a 1000 kilometre cliff at the speed of 180km/h. so there. sigh.

anyway, weiyi said that they were going to choose the debate team tomorrow. we're supposed to be there to do p.o.i. and stuff. sigh. debate. brings back memories. good and bad. oh wells. reminds me. it was then that lin hui made me her....7th wife i think. haha. and one year from now, i'm tasha's 3rd wife too. oh wells.. im climbing up the wifey ladder. hope one day i'll be the first. haha.

hmm...think i will be getting one hell of a shelling tomorrow from dt. also, i hope to finish giving out the dedications and stuff. am kind of sick at looking at all those lollipops and bookmarks and chocolates. hmm..oh wells..

+ cassie over and out +

another weekend gone

there it goes...there it goes again...
another weekend gone down the drain with much worrying..depression..and doing homework most of all...on top of a horrible horrible headache and lack of sleep..oh wells...

topic of the day money
love is the root of all evil. to this. angel and i have absolutely NO objection towards. im just biased so sue me.. i think that love is many an evil thing. seriously it is. it is a thoroughly dangerous item of mass destruction...even worst than that of a worm's holy grenade or metal slug's laser beamer or heavy machine gun even! i mean seriouly! ever heard of the case where this guy wanted to exact revenge on his girlfriend...he was a suicide bomber at that and BOOOOM.. there you have it suicide bomber + revenge + bombs = lots of dbs....sigh...i rest my case...it is most definite that love and not money is the root of all evil.

that is all i have to say today.

+ cassie over and out +

p/s.. love is an irritating bugger.

hmmm...

lemme see...not much happened today other than the fact that i woke up at an unearthly hour of 8sth...was hanging around..reading bridget jones..and waitin for my mum to come pick me up for lunch...afterwards...headed off to tuition...then came back..went in2 pp for a while...came back...fell asleep on the couch...was woken up for dinner... so i went to the dinner table...took one bite then went back out and fell asleep on the couch...haha... then when i woke up again...went to bath...did a bit of homework...dload naruto for my bro...finish of my book..and here i am..blogging..not much to blog about today though...and i don't think there's going to be any white at all in this post...oh wells...hmm..wonder what happened 2 dennis..he seems 2 be mia nowadays..haven't seen him online in a while...wan is coming back from camp on the 6th which is roughly.. two weeks from now..which means exams is in two weeks..oh SHIT..haiz..so much for no whites...was just talkin to nick about the future and where we will all be in 10 years time..nearly got me crying there for a moment..sigh...oh and i don't think i will ever be getting the ipod at the rate things are going...sigh... :'(

+ cassie over and out +

sports day

sports day is over. i am somewhat relieved and yet somewhat...sad that it is over. call me a sucker and all but this is one thing i think i will miss. yeah. me. miss sports day. didn't cry when i sang the school song though. which is a good thing.
for those who are wondering, my team, teresas didn't win this year. nada. not for cheering. not for marching. and we were most probably a good 100 points behind xaviers. for overall that is. for cheering on the other hand, although we lost, i think that we all did a very good .. or at least a pretty good job out of it. better than our rehearsals at least. we were also quite happy to know that the marks for the cheering is only a difference of 2-3 points. however when i heard a comment saying, "it wasn't all THAT near".. everything just came tumbling down. right down. all the way. like an avalanche. all the snow just tumbling down the snow capped mountain. oh wells. after sports day, although we were all hot, sweaty and tired, tasha, lyn and i headed off to cs to meet up with sean and nicholas where a lot and i do mean a LOT of things happened. aish.. some things that happened today made me think.. made me think really hard.. have just come to a realisation that i am really stupid. REALLY REALLY stupid. as i would put it, "EXCRUCIATINGLY STUPID" .. some things i did recently are beyond stupid. plain dumb. i mean like. i should have known better than to do that. it was like way below my dignity but i still went ahead with it. why?

+ cas "excruciatingly stupid" sie over and out +

going n-u-t-s

the dedication is driving me N-U-T-S...
and the juniors keep pestering me for it...
am going to scream at them if they ask me one more time...
i think stef's right...
we both need anger management...
hehe...

+ cassie over and out +

valentine's day

another oh so commercialised day...valentines day that is..

hmm...first day of school today after a week of holidays...had sukantara today..hehe..angel and i passed all our events...woohoo...hmm...last sukantara of our lives...oh wells...though tasha seems to think that she will be back next year to participate..hehe..

tasha seems to think that i'm pregnant due to a series of "unfortunate" events..haha...well...all i can say is that i'm NOT... i repeat..NOT pregnant...hmm..

not much happened today other than that...had cheering..then tuition...came back...fell asleep..bath...eat...bla bla bla and here i am watching tv and blogging though i have got tonnes of homework to do..hehe...think i'd better go off..

+ cassie over and out +

day trip to kl

okay..i am like dead tired...and i just got back from kl..but since i am waiting for angel to finish blogging...thought i might as well blog too!

ok..so lemme see...was supposed to leave the house at like 7 this morning but my mum said that we were all sleepin like logs so she didn't wake us up until 8..haha..anyways...we went to kl..umm...pj 2 be exact..went to drop my bro at my uncle's place .. then we dropped by at my aunt's place...it was like DAMN nice..3 storey semi-d complete with a swimming pool inside her house....aish..too bad i didn't manage to go for a dip...THAT would have been nice...oh wells...then we went to the curve for lunch....then 2 ikea to check out their stuff...then dropped my bro back 2 the house and then we left...hmm..reached ayer keroh at like 8sth 9 for dinner..and here i am.. back and bathed..and really tired..

neways.. his royal highness...prince bakkwa says that he doesn't like the name...sounds yucky...hahaha...anyway...angel said that he said that he doesn't like bakkwa, which is fine and dandy cos he can't go around eating his subjects...hahaha...omg.. this is soo funny...hahah..i actually laughed out loud when i read that...and my mum was in the room..and she shot me a look and was like...what happened?? hahahah...soo funny..

oh wells..think im going to check on angel's blog then head to bed

+ cassie over and out +

firecrackers and fireworks

you would think that they would have the decency to tone it down after two a.m. but nooooo....it went on right up to five this morning.. got awoken by fireworks at FIVE FREAKING A.M. this morning....yes....alven's message DID NOT wake me up...the fweaking fireworks did...and now...its like 12.30, the firecrackers AND fireworks are going on like nobody's business...like as if...it was supposed to be the end of the world but we survived...i kid you not...kimmy and i tonight don't need to sleep liao...great .. JUST GREAT....

oh wells....angel, jie a.k.a tofu princess, without her prince bakkwa unfortunately, tasha and mel came over today to help with the dedications....after which.. i had to go down 2 my grandaunt's place for reunion dinner. thank god for kimmy, my cousin if any of you were wondering, who was there to keep me company all night... hmm...so we were sitting...gossiping and catching up.. hehe...and now...she's in my room..haha...next to me doing add math...my turn to use the pc..she was using the pc earlier on so now it's my turn...hahaha...with all the fireworks and firecrackers going on, i DOUBT the possibility of both of us actually going to sleep or even falling asleep before 2/3 maybe? oh wells...

another long day tomorrow...kimmy and i thinking of sitting right in front of the doorway to do our homework..everyone who walks in would definitely see us and would have to give us angpow...kinda like toll....hahaha..ohwells...

+ cassie over and out +

p.s. happy chinese new year to one and all

aish

didn't really feel like blogging today but since dennis asked...i shall grant his lil wish...don't think today's post will be long though...

first thing's first...tasha & sean's blog is up and about AGAIN...FINALLY!...it's about time...the 2 of you really! teeheehee...however..notice the HOWEVER... it is, as usual, filled with love poems and VERY SUBTLE reminders reminding us singletons that once again, valentines is around the corner. thank you very much.

second thing, angel, xin yu, tasha and mel came over today to help out with the dedication...didn't really get much done though...then we had to go tuition...tomorrow another full day...almost la...hmm..what else...friday again i think...this is really sad la wei...haven't even started on my homework! :(..

oh wells..think that is all that happened today...hmm....think i better start work..then again...kor isn't done with the table...oh wells...

+ cassie over and out +

to fairy

oliver james is sooo cute...
hahah...couldn't help that...
just watched "raise your voice" by none other than stupid hilary duff..
yeah i know..the epitomy of stupidness....but oliver james was a total hottie...
can just melt at the sight of him...haiz..

ok. next. was out just about the whole day today.
went out 2 cs for lunch at sushi king at about 11 or so...
umm..make that brunch...was feeling hungry since yesterday night...so sad
oh wells...then did shopping shopping and a lot of shopping but mostly not for me.
afterwards...we left at about 2sth maybe? or was it 1sth...
hmm..can't really remember..oh wells...should have taken up mum's offer on starbucks..their mango citrus frappucino really is good..

after which we headed over to pp cos i had to photocopy the dedication stuff...
mum had something to do there but im not sure what...
and kor...he wanted to go there for something..probably went to look for his cds..
went into popular to get seventeen...only to remember that i had ALREADY bought seventeen late last month! oh man..feels like a millennium since i last read a fresh copy of seventeen!!! oh wells...bought an elle tank top like thing..only the back was really thin...like the straps of a spaggethi...perfect for my skirt!! woohoo...

hmm..then came back...did a bit of work..then i fell asleep until it was dinner time...
after dinner....what did i do after dinner? oh...bath....help my mum wrap up some stuff...watched raise your voice... *oliver james is soo hot...dreams* .. ahem ahem..back to the topic..as i was saying....i watched apprentice..and well..here i am..blogging...
have to get back to work though..wanna finish off some more stuff before i head to bed...that rhymes..but never mind...

anyways...the girls are coming over tomorrow...to do the dedication..aish..sad sad...
oh wells..hopefully i can wake up in time..else it'd be like the last time when mel came and i was still in bed..hahah....

one last thing before i sign off. this last paragraph of today's post is dedicated to fairy. i will miss you loads especially the times when i go over to angel's place from now on. sigh. expect the unexpected i guess....

+ cassie over and out +

when was the last time

When Was The Last Time

1. when was the last time i actually had lunch other than today?
2. when was the last time i actually slept throughout the night without having to wake up cos i "suddenly" remembered something i forgot to do?
3. when was the last time i could actually lie on bed and watch tv and not fall asleep?
4. when was the last time i was in class throughout the whole day without having to run down to the computer room nearly every other period?
5. when was the last time when i could come home and start on my work and not count dedications?
6. when was the last time i actually came back home by one something?
7. when was the last time i actually blogged???

ok..so maybe blogging was like 3 days ago but still....that's quite a while considering i can blog up to like 2-3 times a day. oh wells...lemme just go through these few days all in this blog....though i must say that it's been pretty much the same for the past few days..sleeping at 12 sth 1..waking up at 6...in school by 7...classes...dedications..cheering....the same thing over and over and over again...the juniors have been a really great help but i'm sure they can be better...but who am i to complain right? at least they DID help...still have A LOT A LOT more to go..so much so that i had to bring back the dedications to do.. :(..there goes my rest...and my organ practice...and my homework...down the drain....its going to what? doing dedications...but THEN AGAIN..i kinda brought this on myself...oh wells..and cheering and all...

i'm tired. exhausted. drained. emotionally. physically. i am just sick of everything...i am tired of having to be nice. i am tired of trying to be polite to everyone else. i am tired of trying to not scream at people for not being able to accomplish something simple instructed to them. i am tired of trying to be in so many places at once. i am tired of trying to accomplish one million things all at once. i am tired of being tired. i am tired of being me. i am just plain tired.

+ cassie over and out +

another one???

another one??? oh no!!! great...just great...another imposter eh..what a sick world this is..oh wells..am supposed to be doing homework... or settling com club stuff... or finishing off els articles..or maybe even practising my moves..but no..im here blogging..am gonna be sooo dead...sigh...

today's rehearsal was bad for both angel and i. she got shouted at. could tell that she was VERY pissed and its NOT OFTEN that she get's this pissed. can totally understand it. i mean... who likes being shouted at? as for me...sigh...cheering was just plain bad.. PLAIN PLAIN PLAIN BAD...i mean like..why is it that during practise its so nice but when rehearsal comes along....wah..can "vomit blood" man..

sigh...so depressing...think im better off logging off..depression is contagious..

+cassie over and out +