almost here

today was the semi finals for the debate competition this year between convent and sigs...and convent won! *rejoices*..hehe..which means..convent would be meeting ssi in the next round...hmm...had quite the drama today between a mother, a daughter and a prospective son-in-law...to the mother that is...oh wells...EVERYONE in the hall saw the little drama unfold....just as ..the 1st or 2nd speaker was going on and on...both pn vasantha and pn lee finished the topic they were on today..which meant one and only one thing...homework homework and more homework..up to date, i have got loads of math questions...2 essays...compre....pressay...and loads more..thank god peka went pretty well today..oh wells....

did i hear you right
cos i thought you said
let's think it over
you have been my light
and i never planned
growing old without you
shadows bleeding through the light
where the love once shined so bright
came without a reason
don't let go of us tonight
love's not always black and white
why haven't i always loved you?

and when i need you
you're almost here
and i know that's not enough
and when i'm with you
i'm close to tears
cos you're only almost here

i would change the world
if i had the chance
oh won't you let me
treat me like a child
throw your arms around me
oh please protect me

bruised and battered by your words
dazed and shattered
now it hurts
haven't i always loved you

and when i need you
you're almost here
and i know that's not enough
and when i'm with you
i'm close to tears
cos you're only almost here

brian mcfadden and delta goodrem

know it's my second time posting this song...but i think it's a really beautiful song...
to all the guys out there who has only been almost here..
sometimes i wish that you were never here at all...

+ cassie over and out +

hey i tried!!!

to angel and alven...i DID try to update but blogspot kept coming up with errors so i gave up eventually...oh wells...

was in a horrible mood yesterday....whiny and snappy...doesn't really make sense does it? look at it this way..i never DID make sense to begin with...

school today wasn't any better with the whole lynette, me and colin thing....sigh....

have been doing too much pengamiran esp the volume part...putar putar and putar ...and NOW that chua has started on vector...my putaran bukan sahaja berpaksi, it berarah and bermagnitud also...ish!!!!...that's life i guess....

have got a whole new load of homework again today..what with peka and add math and moral folio...what CRAP.....

that's all for today i think...

reminder to self...i solemnly swear to not call angel when i'm in a whiny mood...lolz...

found myself today
oh i found myself
and ran away
something pulled me back
voice of reason
i forgot i had
all i know is you're not here to say
what you always used to say
and its written in the sky tonight
so i won't give up
no i won't break down
sooner than it seems
life turns around
and i will be strong
even if it all goes wrong
when i'm standing in the dark
i'll still believe
someone's watching over me

someone's watching over me
hilary duff

+ cassie over and out +

fuck

F-U-C-K

+ cassie over and out +

sob sob

i hate my life. feel like i have no more strength to go on. at all. i just want everything to end right now. life bears no meaning to me. nothing. zilch. nada. this week is going way worst than i thought it would. third day into the week and it seems like a millennium since i last had a holiday. history marks came back today. i know i should not be complaning bout it. but, i guess i kinda expected history to be somewhat better than the rest. considering the amount of hours i put into it. life was never meant to be fair i guess. surely all that hours of reading and memorising should mean something. but no. did not have a very great day at home either. the tabacco smell is beyond choking. i wanna get outta this hell hole. not sure if i can take another day in this place. last but not least, i received two scoldings.. seeing how i had been "rude" and answered people as and when i pleased. guess the safest place in this whole house is my room. then again, i can't actually lock the door cos there are at least 3 spare keys to my room in this house. i hate this. all of this. all i wanna do is just get outta here. i am sick and tired of trying to live up to expectations. i don't want to be something i'm not. i'm sick of trying to keep up. i'm very very tired of all of this. i just want it to end. feel so miserable now. i know i will cry if i were to call up any of them. which is not what i want to happen now. not now when everyone is home. wish there could be someone i could talk to. but no. there's no one. it's just me, my pc and my itunes. tuition's in half an hour. think i better go get ready.

+ cassie over and out +

sch again =(

it's only the second day of school and already i'm feeling so sucky =( .. oh wells...stupid exam papers....ish! convent won debate this round and will be moving onto the next round...hmm..wonder whether ssi or sp won....oh wells...was in tuition yesterday...then online...then i was watching tv as i talked to first angel and then andrew...therefore i did not get any work done...then i had to go to sleep early as i was having a splitting headache....sigh...

and when i need you
you're almost here
and i know
that's not enough
and when i'm with you
i'm close to tears
cos you're only
almost here

almost here
brian mcfadden and delta goodrem

a very touching song...nearly cried when i heard it...

+cassie over and out +

squealing no more

i am squealing NO MORE! woohoo...except that my voice is still a lil of.. it is much better already.. at least i don't go off tune for every other word that i say! =) haven't touched my books at all. and that's just plain bad cos i've got oral to memorise on top of my mountains of homework. oh wells. am going for lunch later with tasha and the rest.. at kinsahi i think..remind me to check my wallet before going out...hmm..wonder where angel is right now...been feeling a lil down this past few days due to some "stuff" which has happened... i mean..i know it's outta my control and all..and i was not exactly the one who caused it.. but i feel as if i COULD HAVE done more or tried a lil harder so that things would not have turned out the way they already did...i feel partly to blame for how things worked out i guess...i mean.. i KNEW it would turn out like that...aish.....oh wells...think im going to get back to reading the guardian or maybe go snoop around for breakfast or something..ciaoz....

+ cassie over and out +

p.s. oliver james looks super hot in raise your voice

school hollies

hmm...although it was the school holidays today, the committee members for the 80th anniversary concert went back to school to pack goodie bags and the rest of them were painting the backdrops outside..hmm...within 5 minutes of being in school grounds, i got myself a nice new cut...with the blade...yes...was trying to open a plastic can (???) of cadbury dairy milk chocolate, for the goodie bag, using a blade and tadah! nice new cut across my thumb...haha...however, it did not bleed. so yeah. one layer of skin got peeled off though. hmm...oh wells...thanks to everyone who has been so concerned over this lil wound of mine...hmm..what else...basically we all had a lot of fun....in a way i guess...other than the fact that i was coughing my lungs out and they (archie and stef that is) didn't let me talk at all.. and each time i opened my mouth...one person or another would tell me to sit down, do my work and keep quiet. :( .. lin hui and sarah wanted me to talk though...lolz..lin hui was like..eh so weird la to not her fangi talk..hahah.....and anyway...they were taunting me with the whole andrew thing...ishh...oh wells....am still coughing my lungs out around here and my dad's stuffing me with papaya, oranges and mangoes..hmm..think i will go gurgle with salt water after this and possibly just gulp it down along the way..hmm....lolz..just joking there...oh wells..think i better get started on homework

+ cassie over and out +

lemony snickets rock

LOTS... i repeat...LOTS of stuff happened today...for instance....i was up and about at 7 a.m. and that is pretty darned early considering its the school hols and all...oh wells...at 8 i had english tuition....we celebrated teacher's birthday for her...though her birthday is only tomorrow. we considered going over tomorrow but realised that she wouldn't be around..oh wells...then we headed off to another two hours of gruelling add math tuition where we were loaded once again with tonnes of homework with no thanks to mr. chua.. we are to do everything which is in the workbook for pengamiran....THEN finish off all the papers he gave us for pengamiran which brings my homework list to about one hundered...GREAT...JUST GREAT...oh wells..after which we headed off to cs....lyn, tasha and i shared a present for wan..a really really really cute and soft and cuddly teddy bear...hahaha.....don't ask...haha...then we were just wandering about until the show started..haha..caught up with dennis...haven't seen him in a million years..haha..no...actually..just two years or so..hmm....what else...oh yar....i've got my ipod...FINALLY...my brand new spanking ipod as angel would put it...ahahahah...a blue 6 gig mini ipod...WOOOHOOOO!!!! :D oh wells...have loads of homework to do oh and my show is starting..oh by the way...caught lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events...it was AWESOME! SUPERB! i LURVE violet's clothes...its SOOO gothic...heheheh...wanna get a set like that..especially the whole netting for the arn thing... :D oh man..it was AWESOME...wanna go watch it again...hmm...last but not least...i'm sick again...both mentally and physically but more physically this time around...am having a bad round of cough and sore throat...bad thing? my sore throat is SOOO bad that i'm on the verge of losing my voice...oh wells...till the next time...which i think is tomorrow..

+ cassie over and out +

yawnz

hmm...just got off the phone with lynette....and i am here since both tasha and dennis asked me to go update my blog...hmm....let's see...

1) angel's in singapore
2) i'm very sleepy
3) i have slept for more than 14 hours today
4) finished one whole bottle of tic tac within half an hour into tuition
5) i bought all american girl even though i have read it before..
5) am having a huge headache
6) think i shall go sleep again after simple life
7) or should i be the oh-so-good girl and go do my homework
8) no! i have an idea....i'll go practise my organ repertoires..haven't touched my organ in a long while
9) i'm talking to myself...ish

think i better go...nth much 2 say today

+ cassie over and out +

marriage

what keeps a marriage going? the kids? love? commitment?

when the chemistry between two people dies off, what happens next?

would one be able to endure waking up to the same face everyday for the rest of their lives?

staying together for the sake of staying together. isn't that living in denial?

so what if you own ten ferraris and five mansions? would you be happy?

what about those who have nothing but claim to be happy? are they really happy?

for you have lived a life like such, would you want another to live the way you did?

+ cassie over and out +

2 more days to go

been a while since i blogged...hmm..anyways..second day into exams....two more days to go..the pain...the torture...ish!...we started off with bm bi bio...all of which were a killer...today we had math physics and history..all of which brought me to hell and back....physics was a real killer...the only consolation? i tried! last year i left like half of it blank and as for the other half..i had absolutely no inkling whatsoever what the question was about! so there...sad sad...neways...nth 2 look forward to tomorrow .. add math and moral..already general math was so difficult...what more additional math?!!oh wells...wonder where is angel now..she ain't online and she didn't reply my message..hmm.......ponders...oh wells..better go catch up with my math...ish!

+ cassie over and out +

sick

i feel...absolutely and positively sick. ish. remind me to NEVER EVER return to pan pac..okay..maybe not pan pac-pan pac...but pan pac-paolo...i mean..i TOLD my mum...i DON'T wanna go there...each time after i come back from there...i feel like barfing...no matter how little i eat...it was the same thing 2-3 times ago..but does she listen? NOOOO...she just says..."don't be rude". ARGH....omg...i think i'm gonna barf....which part of I DON'T WANNA GO AND I FEEL LIKE BARFING EACH TIME I GO doesn't she understand?? i'd pay to NOT go there...FUDGE LA!!! feel so sick that i can't even study bio.... :'( and i didn't touch anything else..i'm gonna stick a piece of paper outside my room stating that i feel like puking and the next time i have to go there for dinner either a) i'm not eating or b) i'd pay so that i would not have to go..ARGH...and she says...it's merely psychology...it's all in the mind....:'( i hate my life..

+ cassie over and out +

friday

argh. i positively hate being in an all girls' school. what with all the bitching and what nots. and those power craving attention seeking people...ugh...2 days have passed me by but i seem no closer to completing my bio than i was two days ago...sigh.. and with the stupid test inching up on me, i have no idea what i am to do..did a survey on friendster earlier on.. asking me..if there was something i could have at this very moment..what would it be..and my answer to that was a sense of justice in this world.. and answers..answers to my oh so many questions.. sometimes it makes me wonder what am i here for..and i still haven't gotten an answer to that...quite a meaningless life i lead i must say...oh wells...sigh

+ cassie over and out +

rough day

it's been a rough day for most of us but i think especially for me. have my head spinning round and round now. it all started pretty good considering the fact that we did not go in for bm and though when lim passed up by and asked why we skipped class we were non commital in answering. or rather we just walked away without even answering! we were actually in the library..haha..where though emilda saw us, she did not actually think of the possibilty that we were skipping class..having an unofficial meeting and discussing some stuff for the 80th anniversary concert. ooh..it was exciting..it really was...as a) esther is not in the b.o.d. and b) something so exciting kinda took our minds off exams for that mere hour but it was good enough. no doubt. after which we had recess...then i went to do class duty and ended up teaching some of them how to do mod math...or general math as pn lee would put it. then as i was taking my time strolling up the stairs...flof...that being fat lump of fat or rather dt as we all used to call her..decided that she was not having such a good day after all and decided to pick on me, using my nametag which was..i repeat WAS filled with stickers but now back to its original condition..against me.. saying that i vandalises my name tag..and that it was by no means easy being a prefect and that if i thought that i couldn't cope with whatever comes with being a prefect i should just quit. and that my name in particular came up when SOMEONE complained to her that i had my name tag vandalised with stickers. hmm..maybe she's just jealous that MY generation of people could come up with SUCH ingenious and GROOVY ideas...which she couldn't. or maybe she's just jealous that i get to "vandalise" as she would put it.. my name tag while she didn't to hers...awww...poor thing..that flof..pitiful pitiful
she derives pleasure from making other people's life so miserable..what a pitiful existence she must lead...but i think what really got on my nerves was that lydia and esther were there but they did not say a single thing in my defence. lydia knew very well that i wasn't the only one yet she chose to just keep quiet and say nothing. she COULD be a little more helpful and just tell that flof that i'm not the only one. but no. she didn't utter a word. and the whole stef thing. it was a huge huge misunderstanding on both our parts. she thought i was mad at her. i thought she was mad at me. great. just great. PLUS...just as my mood was getting somewhat better...jayne had to come and drop the bomb on me that gracie actually asked esther why she wasn't involved when in the first place, gracie was the one who said not to put esther in as she was too busy with the tnf .. track and field that is.. this is really irritating the hell out of me..and that there is a possibility of esther getting her way... as usual...and plopping her butt in the b.o.d. which is what really irritates me..she has everything..why can't she for once let others get something?...and jayne said that if that happens she will pull out..and so will angel..but i'm like...why do you just give up? its like losing a battle without even going for battle in the first place... angel was like..don't even let her in..there must be a way..but if it really comes down to esther coming in and jayne leaving, angel will leave. tasha on the other hand, says that if esther is leading she will leave..but when i asked if she was holding a minor role, tasha just said..why are you guys so against her? sigh...life's a bitch...

+ cassie over and out +