Wednesday, March 23, 2005

sob sob

i hate my life. feel like i have no more strength to go on. at all. i just want everything to end right now. life bears no meaning to me. nothing. zilch. nada. this week is going way worst than i thought it would. third day into the week and it seems like a millennium since i last had a holiday. history marks came back today. i know i should not be complaning bout it. but, i guess i kinda expected history to be somewhat better than the rest. considering the amount of hours i put into it. life was never meant to be fair i guess. surely all that hours of reading and memorising should mean something. but no. did not have a very great day at home either. the tabacco smell is beyond choking. i wanna get outta this hell hole. not sure if i can take another day in this place. last but not least, i received two scoldings.. seeing how i had been "rude" and answered people as and when i pleased. guess the safest place in this whole house is my room. then again, i can't actually lock the door cos there are at least 3 spare keys to my room in this house. i hate this. all of this. all i wanna do is just get outta here. i am sick and tired of trying to live up to expectations. i don't want to be something i'm not. i'm sick of trying to keep up. i'm very very tired of all of this. i just want it to end. feel so miserable now. i know i will cry if i were to call up any of them. which is not what i want to happen now. not now when everyone is home. wish there could be someone i could talk to. but no. there's no one. it's just me, my pc and my itunes. tuition's in half an hour. think i better go get ready.

+ cassie over and out +


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