Dear Diary Episode 2

Shirley woke up to the incessant ringing of her handphone. Thinking it was just her friends trying to get her to the malls, she ignored it. For a brief moment, the ringing stopped. Then came the knocking on her bedroom window which gradually turned into banging.

"Its a freaking Sunday morning. Who the hell can it possibly be?!" she thought to herself.

Unable to block out the loud and continuous banging on her bedroom window, on top of not wanting to wake anyone in the family up, she pulled back the curtains and saw a flustered Brian pacing outside her house. Outside her bedroom window to be exact. This is going to be a long day, she muttered.

"Stop pacing the living room already. Any more pacing and you will wear out that carpeting! Will you just say whatever it is that you came banging at my window to say?" Shirley said with a yawn.

"I'm gonna tell you something. But promise me you won't freak or scream or anything."

Shirley nodded assuming Brian was merely over-reacting to something. Never in her wildest dream she would even imagine anything remotely close to what she was about to hear.

"I slept with her. I slept with Rachael. But it was nothing. It was only a few kisses. Nothing more than that. We got back at bout 3. I went to bed. And she joined me."

~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,
He slept with Rachael today. But what was I to say to him? That he shouldn't have slept with her? That I hate him for doing that and afterwards coming to tell me about it? That I love him? No, I can't tell him that. Sigh, what am i to do? He merely takes me as a best friend, I know. I mean, he wouldn't have told me such stuff if he likes me, right? And when I got so fed up with him, I just text him saying "Fine Brian. Whatever. Just be that way. Nothing I say matters. I am nothing and nobody in your life anyway." He replied saying "u r sum1 in my life. prob one of the only ppl i cna trust and talk to. so dnt doubt yr importance to me. o n what you say matters. i know you are looking out for me. and i know i'm not in a state to be making decisions. thats why i ask for yr opinion." see? I don't want to lose his trust. I'd rather have our relationship like this than to jeopardise it with telling him i like him.
Dear Diary, if only he knew. Sigh.

its the weekend

i feel like a lousy prat for not updating more often than i already am.. so here i am.. early saturday morning.. blogging from the comforts of my bed...

i was supposed to sleep in today.. at least until 10.. seeing how i only went to bed at 12 last night.. but noo.. my body clock (or whatever you call it) is screwed i tell you... on weekdays, i literally have to be dragged out of bed for school.. and on weekends, i wake up even before the sun decides to show up for the day.... sad case? i think so too..

angel has blogged for two consecutive days in a row... *or so i think* keeping her readers well updated on her situation there.. all you lucky jb peeps who get to see her in about a week plus
why is it that i always miss seeing her online by only an hour or two? damn!

i have had some rather interesting comments with regards to the post of "dear diary"..and so, i am thinking of making it a part of my blog.. therefore do tune in next time for more "dear diary" posts.. (i think fs didn't tag on that one!)

this month alone, i have come to know of 4 couples who have decided to end their relationship (what the hell?!?!) i know its a perfectly normal situation.. couples break up all the time.. but four that i know of in a month? now THAT is something.. what? is this month "break-up-month" that no one notified me of.. or am i missing something around here? unless cupid had just decided to tell the couples to "take a hike".. life's lil weirdness..

yesterday, as i was watchin antm, my aunt came into the room passing me the cordless.. on the line was my mum.. and she was asking me a bunch of questions..but for the life of me, i just couldn't find the strength or enthusiasm to talk to her.. so my answers were pretty much "umm yeah.." "hmm..okayy" or "oh really.. okay then". i have no idea what was up with me yesterday.. feel kinda guilty now for not taking more interest in the conversation..

i finally finally FINALLY got to watch "just like heaven" yesterday.. though i received the DVD on monday or so.. admittedly, the show didn't quite do justice to the book.. but it was marvellous nonetheless.. with stellar acting from reese witherspoon (i am a huge fan of reese.. so sue me) and mark ruffalo. it was a typical love story with a predictable ending, even if one did not read the book.. the movie was slightly different from what the book was.. but it had the same idea more or less.. that a social-lifeless doctor was to meet an accident.. and there was only one person who could see her or hear her... they would have to try to return her soul to her body.. and in the process, they fall in love.. just my kinda show (i'm a sucker for love stories.. so sue me) a perfect way to start friday morning.. think i shall go watch it again after this!

ok.. think i shall end my post here.. don't you guys' brains to be bogged down with too much heavy reading or anything.. hehe.. will keep updating as often as possible.. adios!


i'm so far, so far away from it now
that it seems like i may never know how
people stay in love for half of their lives
its a secret they keep between husbands and wives
baby. there goes somebody's miracle
walking down the street
there goes some other fairy tale
i wish it could happen to me

-liz phair-
-somebody's miracle-

Dear Diary

"Dear diary," Shirley wrote.

" I saw him again today. He looked really sad and troubled. It broke my heart to see him that way. I sat myself next to him and smiled at him when he looked my way. He returned with a weak smile. Knowing that we were not to talk in the library, I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote "what's wrong?" then passed it to him. Just at that moment, she walked into the library. She, who with a single smile could bring him to his knees. She, who with a single word could cause his world to crash. I looked her way. If only she knew how much she meant to him. I turned back to him and caught him looking her way as well. In his eyes, lain hurt, anger, sadness all at once. He didn't have to tell me what was wrong actually. For I knew, only she could cause such pain and misery in him. Glancing at the long reply he wrote, one line stood out among the rest like a striking orange lifeboat in the middle of sea. "I don't know what to do. Evelyn wants me. Rachael wants me. I don't know what I want. But I do know that I want Evelyn to be okay." Reading that line, I thought to myself.. "If only he knew that I want him too. But more than anything, all I want is for him to be happy.""

At that point, Shirley could not bear to write anymore. A single tear drop escaped the walls of her eyes and slid down her cheek. Closing her eyes, memories of that night came flooding back to her. That had been the happiest night of her life. He gave her a single kiss on her forehead. No doubt, it had been nothing to him, but to Shirley, it meant the world. And yet today, to find out that Evelyn was not the only one who wanted him, that Rachael had expressed her feelings for him too, Shirley was crushed. No. She was more than crushed. She felt like her world had fallen to pieces.

Alas, he could never see that. That Shirley loved him too. Just as Evelyn and Rachael does. Yet she would never tell him, as much as she wanted to. She knew that telling him would only complicate things further. She would keep silent and to herself. Only her diary would know. Only she would ever know.

SPM

okay.. so i must admit that this post is overdue.. just for about over a week...

and no, i'm not here to brag about my results or anything basically because i don't feel the need to tell the whole world about something i probably will not remember come 2007.

however, i do want to extend my congrats to all 16 or 17 year olds who sat for that bloody examination. whatever the achieved results, i must say that we all deserve a pat on the back for surviving it, for it is possibly the second most difficult exams in this milky way galaxy, after stpm. this calls for a celebration. bring out the champage someone.. anyone!

i guess the one regret i have is not being able to go back to school to collect my results to see my friends as well as to shove my examination results slip in front of some of the teachers faces (read : teachers who didn't think i'd make it or whom made life in convent a living hell which of course isn't many)

since being in kiwiland would mean being deprived of malaysian newspapers, i have resorted to reading the news online. a very different experience from readin the hard copy but i will just have to make do. was readin the article about spm results and top achievers and bla bla bla. and i have noticed a growing trend of the top scorers taking a crazy amount of subjects. 15 subjects. what the hell??? do these people have no life or are they not in a correct state of mind? 15 subjects! this is absurd! do they do nothing but study their lives away??? or is it just wanting 5 minutes of fame? talk about attention seekers..

to some, i may sound like a jealous pot simply because i neither achieved straight As nor took 15 subjects. but i can assure you.. i am not seething with jealousy. i am just shocked beyond words that there are some people out there who
a) took 15 subjects;
b) scored straight A1s on all subjects;
c) is still alive.

not to mention, the case of the girl who attempted to take her life by jumping off a building. the reason? she did not perform up to her expectations. what is the world coming to?

new arrival

to the *ahem* loyal fans (as overdresser would more often than not say in his posts) of castalnetta.blogspot, thank you for your neverending loyalty and support not to mention patience with the owner of this blog who only updates once a week, sometimes less, and even then writes plain crap about her somewhat average-mundane student life in christchurch. tank yew veli muck hor.

today, I would like to extend my warmest welcome to two visitors *hopefully on a permanent basis* of castalnetta.blogspot, namely debbie and valentine a.k.a val on the tagboard. i had absolutely no idea that debbie (yes, debbie our senior a.k.a. da-jie to some of the more junior ones) had been visiting my blog until this afternoon when i was chatting with her.. since she hadn't tagged.. as well as val.. a friend i got to know through celine (well, more like celine's tagboard)

btw.. i'm known as fangi and cass and cowsaysmoo on the many tagboards i terrorize.. rofl... in case any of you were wondering.. and no, i'm not suffering from multiple-personality disorder. i just go by many a name.

honouring as well the many loyal fans of this blog.. hehehe.. (in no particular order) angel, overdresser, shawn, weiyi, xin, tasha, random websurfer aka fangi's stalker and the occasional mel.. damn. thats only 8 people.. need to expand my fanclub like seriously...

okayyy.. so its half past eleven and im not in bed.. that is because i felt the sudden urge to blog.. not so much cause i HAVE something to blog about.. but more because i want to keep this blog going and not let it die by the sidelines (thats like two becauses in a single sentence!) not to mention to let you guys know that hey... i'm still alive here..

according to my friend andrew, apparently, mr terry (one of the economics teacher who doesn't teach me) refers to me as "some random chinese girl from some random asian country who has never done econs" simply because i was one of two who attained an achieved with excellence on my economics paper recently. when andrew found out that yours truly here was that random asian girl... he was like "i should have known it was you!!!" and then he went on to tell the girl next to him the story of me and my econs paper. what was just as weird was two days back, when i was at the locker bay with joanna and benjamin, we walked past this group of popular but APPARENTLY not so intellectual bunch of girls.. one of them who is in my econs class.. she proclaimed aloud to her friends "heyyyyy.. THATS the excellence girlllll" i was like "huh?!" then she proceeded to turn to me and say "you're the excellence girl right???" and it was only then that i realised what she was going on about... this is badd.. means from now on, i have to perform extremely superbly well for each and every econs paper i sit for... can't afford to fall behind or anything.. arghhh


--> lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman <--
--> but luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man <--

the starbucks coffee couture

technically, the title of this post has got nothing to do whatsoever to do with the contents of this post.. just that when i was uploadin a the pic a minute ago, i happened to notice the starbucks coffee signboard in the back ground.. this picture was taken yesterday when i was in town.. on saturdays, in the cathedral square which is smack right in the middle of town, there will be stalls open in the town square.. selling all sorts of stuff.. mostly food.. accessories and such.. its kinda like a mini fair.. the things, albeit not cheap are really nice and you can get some really cool handmade stuff.. but like i said.. it isn't cheap.. anyway, yesterday, it so happen to be the church's 150th anniversary.. so there were church go-ers *i think* who went to church all dressed up in such victorian clothing.. the men were in "penguin" suits and top hats and the women attired as such in the picture.. i chose this particular lady to take my pic as she was in black and red.. the colour of my choice.. hehe.. their clothes really reminded me of lil bo beep.. or was it peep.. argh whatever.. o and anne of green gables.. whoever who has read or seen it will know what im going on about.. i seriously wonder where on earth did they get such clothing! i want one too!! knowing its gonna cost me a bomb *no actually, maybe a bomb would be cheaper* and that i will probably never wear it

anyway.. smart me.. forgot to bring my wallet out yesterday when i went out.. no wonder i thought i forgot something.. both my aunt and fiona thought that i purposely left it at home.. nonetheless.. i still bought a pair of earrings.. aunt paid for it.. yayness! heheh.. was out pretty much the whole day yesterday shopping with fiona and aunt sue.. will probably do the same.. though i'm actually kinda sleepy.. slept at bout 10.30 last night after watchin memoirs of a geisha for the fourth time.. and woke up at bout 6+ today.. replied vincent's message that came in at 4+.. then decided that i couldn't fall back asleep.. which is why im here blogging..

i didn't realise how much i miss my friends and they comfort that they offer.. until last night.. mum called me and asked me to ask celine if she wanted my mum to pick up her results for her.. knowin that celine probably didn't have any cash in her phone, i rang her. she was asleep.. or rather i woke her up.. *blur me forgot it was 8sth in the morning for her* when i heard her voice, tears started welling up in my eyes.. and before i knew it.. i was cryin on the phone.. we were on the phone for about 10 minutes.. catchin up and stuff..although it was only ten minutes, it really meant a lot to me.. hearing her voice after so long was painful and saddening knowing i'm so far away from all of them.. yet comforting.. as i realise that no matter what happens.. i still have my pals to lean back on.. it was only yesterday that i truly felt the pain of not being with my pals.. i mean.. yeah i've made friends here and stuff.. but none as great as the ones back home.. they just can't compare.. maybe its because the bond is not there or sth.. but i guess you can't really compare a decade's worth of friendship to a month's worth of makin friends.. starting out all over again is beginning to get sucky...

anyway, i guess for all peeps my age and for some one year younger than i, the hot topic of the week would be SPM RESULTS... according to tasha, convent managed to get sekolah cemerlang.. i wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing.. i am freakin out really badly here..everyone's been telling me "you don't have to worry la" "you're so smart la.. worry for what" "you sure can one laa" "you already in college what.. good or bad it doesn't matter" but it does.. and i am worried.. more than worried.. i'm freakin out over it.. i want it and yet i don't want it.. im scared of what the results might be.. i know i've tried my best.. but what if my best just isn't good enough? i don't want that to happen.. i want TEN FREAKING FUCKING As more than anything now.. arghh.. doubt i'll be able to get much sleep tonight...

randomness and weirdness

finally! a day when i have both the mood to blog and have something to blog about.. other days its only one or the other.. okay..

so, i went shopping today with my aunt. went hunting for a pair of boots.. *grins* alas.. the pair of boots i had my eyes on costs 299.95. its a black leather knee-high with buckles. its wedged and not heels. for guys who are reading this and am totally lost with the whole fashion jargon, no worries. just understand that i want a pair of black leather boots which cost 300 buckaroos! outta my budget? yeah.. just about 150 bucks over my budget.. not good. not good at all. considering its probably not the ONLY pair of boots i'll ever get.. dilemma dilemma.. then, there's the New Rocks Boots which costs 500 bucks!!! REALLY should have taken up my brother's offer when he said he'd get one for me.. they are UBBER COOL boots.. very chunky and weigh over 1.5 kg on each side. a must have for every rocker/metalhead. wish i was working.. cos if i WAS working, then i'd be spending my own money and not my parents money and i can spend it whichever way i like.. arghh..

dilemma number two.. i saw this black skirt in glassons.. REALLY nice.. i sooo wanna get it.. it looks very avril-ish especially with the netting on the bottom.. but it costs 30 bucks!! no wait.. it costs 40 bucks.. arghh.. i need money! maybe i oughta wait a while and see if they slash the price of it.. but then again, what if they don't have my size?! ahhh.. the heartache.. the pain.. the excruciating decision i have to make.. choices oh choices..

the guys must be thinking "what a waste of time this is.. readin a post about her indecision over a pair of boots and a skirt" im really sorry.. but dilemma! i don't know what to do!! double sigh..

oh and something interesting.. or rather weird.. happened just now when i was in the mall.. i met my friend, william,'s parents.. aunty flora and uncle something.. no, his name is not uncle something.. its just that i did not manage to catch his name .. so yeah.. ok.. so the story of william.. got to know him from school, through vincent... he is in my stats class and have the same free periods as i do. so occasionally, i'd help him with stats work and we're more the kinda pass-by-each-other-and-just-say-hi kinda friends.. not the hang-out-with kinda friends.. so safe to say i don't exactly know him very well.. you get the idea.. aunty flora, his mum, knows my aunt.. so they stopped.. had a lil chat.. and being the "goody goody" i was just smiling and being courteous and all.. my aunt intro-ed me and said.. "oh this is my niece, yvonne, also studyin in burnside, the same year as william yada yada yada" then aunty flora said.. "oh yeah.. i've heard about you. william told me you were nicholas' cousin. so how is william in school? good boy or not? does he have a girlfriend?" i was a picture of pure shock. words were beyond me. i mean.. is this the kinda question you ask your son's friend from school whom you have never met before?!?!! oh god.. *faints* i have nothing more to say. i am still in complete, total and utter shock.. some stuff just never ceases to amaze me.

just a lil update

nothing too exciting really happened.. so i just wanna blog to keep you guys updated on some stuff..

1. THE WEATHER
the weather here is crazy.. if you think that the weather back home is nuts, that is NOTHING compared to what im gettin here. one day it can reach a high of 29 degrees and the next day, drop down all the way to 14. no, i'm not joking. that explains why i watch the weather report everyday so that i can be dressed "appropriately". not to mention, it can be hailing in the morning and be scorching hot in the afternoon. arghh

2. THE CLASSES
i have NO idea why they choose to have 2700 students on the move every period rather than to have 150 teachers moving. then again, everyone here takes different subjects. so there are people in my form class whom i don't see in any of my classes except for 10 minutes in the morning everyday. stupid? nah.. thats just the way it works..

3. THE LEPAKING
truth be told, i haven't actually done much lepaking here as compared to last year. so far, i've been to the malls with my aunt, which technically cannot be counted. other than that, i went into town with huei yin and lisa last saturday. watched walk the line with nicholas on sunday. this friday, the few of them *the group i hang out with during lunch* wants to go swimming..which i will most probably join them. on saturday i have to choose between attending a wedding or going to play badminto with huei yin and lisa. and maybe i'll go for another movie *casanova* with whoever i can drag on sunday. too bad vincent works on sunday. *rolls eyes*. but today! an achievement i must say!! me, benjamin, joanna and michelle left school at 12.20 for lunch, and still managed to reach back at 12.55. that of course included us eatin lunch within 10 minutes, and trying to come up with lame excuses in case we were late, which we weren't! good thing michelle drives well.. lol

4. THE HOMEWORK
not procrastinating that much yet. just that i have this legal research i was supposed to do 2 weeks ago but since she doesn't check... *grins*.. other than that, i try to finish all my homework on that day itself.. and in a way it helps that i have six hours of free period every week.. its supposed to be "study" period.. but... yeah you get the idea..

5. THE NIGHTMARE
i had a REALLY bad night two nights ago.. like really really bad.. for a start.. although i was tired.. i couldn't really sleep.. i was just drifting in and out of sleep.. not really deep sleep.. and second of all, i was having some really dodgy dreams.. i can remember none of them, except for the last.. as far as i can remember, i was at a holiday like thing with my friends, when i get wind of this friend, having gone missing. i got really worried cos he was having problems of some sort.. so i had to put my holiday on hold to help look for him.. the search went on for a day or two, until his mum rang me to say he had been found. rigour mortis. i couldn't believe what i was hearing. i didn't want to believe i was hearing.. and the next thing i knew i woke up crying. you know how some dreams leave a rancid lingering feeling for the rest of the day? that nightmare was one. i felt sick in the pit of my stomach for the rest of the day. needless to say, my day was bad.