Thursday, March 23, 2006

Dear Diary

"Dear diary," Shirley wrote.

" I saw him again today. He looked really sad and troubled. It broke my heart to see him that way. I sat myself next to him and smiled at him when he looked my way. He returned with a weak smile. Knowing that we were not to talk in the library, I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote "what's wrong?" then passed it to him. Just at that moment, she walked into the library. She, who with a single smile could bring him to his knees. She, who with a single word could cause his world to crash. I looked her way. If only she knew how much she meant to him. I turned back to him and caught him looking her way as well. In his eyes, lain hurt, anger, sadness all at once. He didn't have to tell me what was wrong actually. For I knew, only she could cause such pain and misery in him. Glancing at the long reply he wrote, one line stood out among the rest like a striking orange lifeboat in the middle of sea. "I don't know what to do. Evelyn wants me. Rachael wants me. I don't know what I want. But I do know that I want Evelyn to be okay." Reading that line, I thought to myself.. "If only he knew that I want him too. But more than anything, all I want is for him to be happy.""

At that point, Shirley could not bear to write anymore. A single tear drop escaped the walls of her eyes and slid down her cheek. Closing her eyes, memories of that night came flooding back to her. That had been the happiest night of her life. He gave her a single kiss on her forehead. No doubt, it had been nothing to him, but to Shirley, it meant the world. And yet today, to find out that Evelyn was not the only one who wanted him, that Rachael had expressed her feelings for him too, Shirley was crushed. No. She was more than crushed. She felt like her world had fallen to pieces.

Alas, he could never see that. That Shirley loved him too. Just as Evelyn and Rachael does. Yet she would never tell him, as much as she wanted to. She knew that telling him would only complicate things further. She would keep silent and to herself. Only her diary would know. Only she would ever know.


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