Thursday, July 05, 2007

Life Part 2

I know I promised no more depressing posts until my mood is somewhat lifted but I just couldn't help myself.

Today is WednesdayThursday.. I'm losing track of my days. Its already Thursday. There goes half my holidays to doing absolutely nothing.

Reading Xin Yu's post before -

sometimes i don't know whether i love my life or hate it. i have a great family, i have tons of friends, and a bunch of really close ones whom i can talk to all day all night. i'm taking a course i actually like in university, i live in a great place. i'm not awfully disfigured, i'm content with how i look. i have everything i need, i have almost everything i want. still......

sometimes i feel lonely, i feel down. you might be too busy to talk to me, and i feel you're avoiding me. insecure? definitely. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and feel that there's no point in living anymore, then i go back to sleep wishing i don't ever have to wake up again.

and remembering a conversation I had with Michael,

"i feel like i belong nowhere. i feel so unwanted. whether its at home, or when i'm at your place with the rest. it just feels like there is no place for me in this world"

I am reminded of feelings all too familiar to my heart. I couldn't have said it all any better myself. Its like they took the thoughts right out of my mind and laid them down in words.

LIfe - its a freaking bitch.


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