Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Rainy Days, Shitty Days.

Its not exactly rainy out there in the big bad world. Its gloomy, very. I woke up from my one hour plus nap just to find that the world from outside the window which i left all sunny and bright has now turned dark and gloomy. Just like how it is inside of me. Dark and gloomy.

Not to be misinterpreted that I am emo-ing once again (though this seems most likely), I am merely having a shitty day. Not to say that I had crappy things happen to me either though. Its just one of those days where you just don't want to do anything. Getting out of bed - the worse thing to happen ever. So yes, I endured three hours of painful and boring lectures fuelled by the fact that Anisa isn't there to keep me company. Texting did nothing to help alleviate the pain.

Ten minutes to two, a flutter of hope sprang from inside of me thinking that maybe once lectures were over and done with, I'd feel much better. But no, 3 hours later I still feel like utter bullshit.

Its days like this when all I want to do is just be in bed and not have to worry about anything at all. However, that is not reality. Insurance claims are yelling to be sorted out, with the people at the insurance place being of no help whatsoever. Assignments with looming duedates. Readings stacked inches high collecting dust. A bank balance and accounts book which are plunging into the depths of debt by the minute. Just what I need.

Can life get any worse or is it just the emo me speaking? There is no reason for me to be emo though.

All I want is to be left alone, but at the same time have someone just sitting beside me not saying a word. I miss my friends who understand me like that. We just enjoy each other's company in silence. Not a word need be said. Not a thing need be done. All that is needed is her company. I miss that.

I'm a confused little girl. Maybe I am emoing after all.


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