Friday, September 29, 2006


hm. im so addicted to firefly by breaking benjamins right now.

y'know how some people claim that alcohol makes it all better.. alcohol takes your troubles away.. that is so not true.. it anything, it magnifies the pain inside by a million times and yet on the outside you will laugh at anything and everything. life seems like such a joke then. you laugh at the slightest thing.. but you still feel the pain inside.

last saturday night... i found out that im the kinda drunk that doesn't shut up. haha. just like thomas. hm. i will say out loud whatever that comes to mind. it really is quite funny hearing myself even. i know some people disapprove of alcohol.. but the way i see it.. you should learn how to drink (not to be an alcoholic of course).. but just so that you know how far you can go with alcohol....and that if ever you are in a position where you have to drink, you will know what your alcohol tolerance is like. but no worries-i have no intention whatsoever to be an alkie (alcoholic) cos first and foremost.. i can't afford alcohol.. a four pack of vodka mixers are like 10 bucks.. and even if i could afford it.. the money would have probably gone to buying clothes or saving up for presents and stuff..

moving onto a different topic altogether.. i am kinda itching to play pool now... or mahjong even.. miss playing with xin and the rest! esp since after a while, we are just playing so fast! hahaha.. but yeah pool.. hmm.. but everyone here is so broke.. no money to go for pool...

i kinda need sleep right now.. tired.. but im like wide awake.. its not good i know.. friday night.. i should be out partying or some shit like that.. but i really can't be bothered.. kinda wanna just chill with my friends back home (well.. other than the fact that they are all miles away.. and we are all having exams and shit..)

i remember last year this time.. most days.. there would be people in my house.. at the kidney/mango table doing our work (revision).. either that or at celine's place.. in her guest room on the third floor.. good times good times! though we were studying and stuff.. but nonetheless.. it was good..

just wish there was someone here with me right now. doesnt matter if we are not talking or not really doing anything. just need someone's company. anyone really. the loneliness is killing me inside. and the silence is deafening.

after working so hard last term, im kinda on a downhill trail now. but no- i need to get my act together. next term is just as crucial as the last if not even more with upcoming exams and trials. everything seems to be falling apart right about now.

you my friend
you're a lot like them
but i caught your lie
and you know i did
now im lost in you
like i always do
and i'd die to win
cause im born to lose
could you shine your light
now i learnt your ways
they are just like mine
now im justified
as i fall in line
and its hard to try
when you're open wide

+ firefly - breaking benjamins +


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