Sunday, April 16, 2006

Dear Diary Episode 5

"Stupid math.. why would I ever need to know what the tangent of a degree is? To ensure i cut an apple at the tangent of 30 degrees??" Shirley muttered to herself.

Frustrated and tired, Shirley looked up from her books to see an incoming message on her mobile. A smile spreading on her face, Shirley thought to herself, "A break.. finally!" as she picked up her vibrating mobile from the table. The message was from Michael. It read "Remember the girl whom I had in mind but refused to let you in on her identity? That girl is you." Shirley stared at the message dumbfounded not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to reply. Not knowing what to do.


Dear Diary,
Michael confessed to me that he had feelings for me. But how could that possibly be? I barely knew him two weeks. Well, okay maybe more than that. I met him at Brian's party a few weeks back. But i didn't really talk to him until more than a week back in school. And he knows that I like Brian. Well, it was more of him guessing than me telling. Oh god.. How can it be? I've been texting him for only a little more than a week. and even then, they were just random topics. Nothing out of the ordinary. No intimate details involved either.


Shirley did not get a chance to reply. For just as she was going to hit the "reply" button, another message came in from Michael. This time, it read "I know there's a guy in your life now and its Brian. But i'm quite sure that you know Brian and Evelyn are inseparable. I'm not asking anything. I just wanted you to know that in my life, there's only place for one girl now and that girl is you."

This time, Shirley replied, "I know they are inseparable. It didn't take me too long to suss that out. All I want is for Brian to be happy. Nothing more than that."

"Aren't you secretly wishing them apart? What's the point of you just liking Brian if you can't do anything about it? Its nice that you want him to be happy and all. But what about you? Who is gonna take care of you and YOUR happiness?" was Michael's next reply.

A single tear drop slid down Shirley's once rosy but now sunken cheeks. Michael was right and Shirley knew it. But there was almost nothing she could do to stop herself from feeling that way for Brian. She tried to forget him. She tried to move on. But no matter how hard she tried, she always ended up back at where she was. Falling for Brian all over again. No one else knew about it. Or so she thought.

Knowing she couldn't avoid the subject with Michael altogether, she could only reply earnestly how she really felt for him and hope that Michael would understand. "Listen Mike, I'm really flattered.. really I am.. But i'm just not quite worth it.. and it wouldnt be fair for you either. I'm sorry if i have in any way implied or led you on or anything. I'm really sorry.. it was unintentional. i'm really sorry" and she hit the send button. Replying messages was never difficult for Shirley but this time, she felt like she had to will all the strength in the world to send that message out.

Barely a second passed when Shirley's mobile vibrated once more. "No don't be sorry, Shirl.. just be strong and you'll make it through. and you are so utterly and completely worth my time, trust me. I'll be waiting for you don't worry. Nothing you say will make me change my mind. And i'm not expecting anything from you. It doesn't matter if all my waiting goes to waste. I know that my time will be well spent on you. Just remember that I'm here for you no matter how long that may be."

"Can I ask when did you realise?"

"Not long after Brian's party. I realised I had feelings for you when I couldn't stop thinking about you. And there was something special about you the frist time I saw you at Brian's.. or rather at Marie's."

Another message arrived. This time, from Brian.
"Evelyn is not replying me again. I'm really worried about her. I think she's angry at me or something."

Staring at Brian's message, she could not help but break down into tears. Knowing Michael would always be waiting for her. Knowing Evelyn would ultimately be the only girl in Brian's life. Knowing that she could never truly be the girl for either of them.


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