Fangi's Lil Black Page

Four Malaysian Dishes I Miss

2010-07-14T17:01:00.000+08:00

1. Chicken Rice
2. Prata with Fried Chicken & Milo Ice
3. Rice with Rendang, Masak Merah & Sambal Kangkung
4. Wonton Meeeeeeeeeeee

cyanide & happiness

2010-01-27T15:28:00.001+08:00

Time After Time

2009-11-23T17:44:00.000+08:00

why is it...

2009-11-03T05:50:00.002+08:00

...that the courier post guy can't come knocking at our door at a more earthly hour, of say 11am instead of 6.30 in the morning?

...that the courier post then proceed to look apologetic and start apologising profusely for waking you up while trying to show their little machine in your face to sign, whilst deep down inside, you know that he is thinking "hah! managed to wake another one up, sucker!"

...that you go "oh, don't worry about it, it's okay" after he apologises, instead of saying "oh bloody hell, can you not choose a better time to be delivering stuff, for fucks sake!"

wonders...

2009-10-28T12:19:00.003+08:00

... why don't we have some sort of laptops or tablet pcs that cater specifically to examination needs rather than having to write on paper.

it saves the trees and most of all it saves us from having swollen hands after 4 essays in 3 hours.

i don't want to know what's going to happen on monday... when i have to write 8 essays in 6 hours.

depression

2009-10-16T15:43:00.002+08:00

it creeps up behind you like a flu bug and before you know it, wham you're paralysed, bed ridden in misery.

currently in limbo, between wanting to give up and knowing that you shouldn't.

maybe it'll get better. maybe.

some days are just not meant to be mine

2009-10-16T06:07:00.002+08:00

you know how there are days when no matter what you do, nothing goes wrong.

and then there are days when everything damned thing you do goes wrong. today's that day.

it's days like these when you just feel like knocking yourself unconscious and hope that you will sleep through till monday.

just shoot me

2009-10-14T18:04:00.001+08:00

i'm tired

i'm stressed

i'm having the worst headache of my life

i probably need sleep

someone please just shoot me already.

law school

2009-10-04T18:12:00.002+08:00

it's scary how i can spend hours and days on end in the library studying or working on an assignment when i need to

and it's just plain sad how sometimes, i'd rather stay at home to study and do work than go out and have fun.

law school.. what have you done to me?!

has died and gone to twilight heaven.

2009-09-23T11:37:00.001+08:00

The Blind Side Trailer

2009-09-20T08:18:00.001+08:00

Broken by Lifehouse

2009-09-15T17:38:00.001+08:00

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

10 things from McDonald's that make me happy.

2009-09-11T12:51:00.007+08:00

1) Cheeseburger buns. They don't have sesame seeds on them.

2) The bun that they place in the middle of the Big Mac.

3) Apple pies.

4) Sausage Egg McMuffins

5) Hashbrowns

6) Double cheeseburgers

7) Spicy Chicken McDeluxe

8) Chicken Nuggets!!!

9) Twister Fries

10) Soggy, salty fries

it doesn't pay to be nice, sometimes

2009-09-09T06:12:00.002+08:00

example one.
my dad went all the way to a random part of town he normally wouldn't be in, if not for the fact that he felt that the malay fruit stall owners could do with some extra business this festive season. and so, he went along his business, bought his fruits from the malay stall owners and guess what, he gets knocked over crossing the road on the way back to his car. he's currently lying in a hospital bed unconscious.

example two.
my friend needed some notes from last term's lectures that she missed. she gave me her pendrive so that i could transfer the notes over. now, i have a trojan running around in my pc, i have to back up everything and then format my pc... again.

it really doesn't pay to be nice sometimes.

never underestimate the importance of eggs at room temperature

2009-08-27T17:26:00.002+08:00

its so important that i cannot help but repeat myself.. never underestimate the importance of eggs at room temperature..

and again...

NEVER, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF EGGS AT ROOM TEMPERATURE

it probably wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to figure this one out.. but when baking with eggs.. make sure they are at room temperature.. and not taken out of the fridge because when you do that.. and you add the cold eggs to melted butter, the butter curdles and you end up with lumps of crap... CRAP I TELL YOU..

and don't even think of nuking curdled egg and butter for even 10 seconds in the microwave.. it cooks the egg white and leaves you with curdled yellow and white bits.

story of my life.. epic phailz

just when you start to think that spring is here

2009-08-13T07:48:00.002+08:00

it's only august... but swear to god.. spring is was here! honestly.. the daffodils are all mostly out at this point.. and the weather has been really really warm.. like 15/16 degrees warm!
it's been a great 2-3 weeks.. awesome warm weather, cloudless skies... essays couldn't possibly put a dent in the bubble of warmth and happiness everyone was in..

until today.. its raining and pouring and cloudy and gloomy and crappy outside.. i woke up to rain splattering on my windows.. ergh
just when i thought spring was here.. it went POOF! just like that.. pfft!

oh my spring.. where art thou?

alice in wonderland

2009-08-04T15:07:00.001+08:00

Plants vs. Zombie

2009-08-04T12:53:00.003+08:00

As my cousin said, "This game will probably be your downfall" and it probably would've been true, if not for the fact that it's not a massively long game and I took just over a day to clock it. Its addictiveness is probably 11/10. I started on it yesterday and couldn't stop going back to it. I played it till one in the morning, went to sleep, played it some more, went to class then came back and played it some more. Thank God I'm done with it now. Though there are mini games for me to unlock. Humm.. Very very addictive, very very fun.

The player plants a variety of plants, some of them being defensive plants and some being attacking plants and the sunflower which produces sun which in turn allows you to buy plants to plant. The idea is to stop the zombies from eating up your plants and entering your home and consequently, eating your brains out. YUM!

Caution: May be hazardous to health and grades of upcoming assignments.

doesn't know why she bothers anymore

2009-07-30T18:18:00.000+08:00

2nd failed attempt

fail at baking
fail at cooking
fail at life

Brownies

2009-07-17T16:47:00.004+08:00

edit: the brownie tasted slightly heavier today.. hum..

This is probably the first time I've baked since my failed attempt at chocolate chip cookies.
I got the recipe from Milk&HoneyCafe, one of the many sites I frequent on a daily basis. She has some really pretty/artistic cupcakes and cookies.

Anyway, here's the recipe

Brownies
makes 20 pieces

ingredients
3/4 cups butter, melted
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 eggs
3/4 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

directions
1. Preheat oven 350°F. Grease 8×8x2 pan.
2. Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt.
3. In medium bowl, blend melted butter, sugar and vanilla. Add eggs and beat well.
4. Gradually add dry mixture to egg mixture. Beat until well blended.
5. Pour chocolate mixture. Place in oven for 35-40 minutes

Like the tinge of colour in my post? (Get it? Brown... Brownies? :D)
Anyway, I didn't have a brownie tin or 8x8x2 pan so I just made them into muffins. Put them in for about 20 minutes.

Though as Sarah mentioned in her post, the brownies were very light and fluffy, not heavy and chocolatey as I thought brownies were supposed to be. Or as Horst said, "It tastes dusty... and kinda bland.." (I wonder if caster sugar is less sweet than normal sugar.. flat ran out of sugar)

has lost her bright red bra straps

2009-06-28T12:41:00.002+08:00

how on earth i managed to lose a pair of bright red bra straps... a PAIR!! not one.. but BOTH OF THEM... i will never know.

sigh this is going to annoy me for the rest of eternity until i find them.

oh my, charlie

2009-06-15T18:14:00.001+08:00

soooo.... cookies..... yeahhhh....

2009-06-10T18:42:00.001+08:00

i can't even begin to describe how epic fail the cookies turned out.

it was a crumbling heap of cookie dough.

ergh.

omg omg omg

2009-06-09T18:40:00.002+08:00

*jumps around like a little kid*

i can't wait till new moon comes out!
though there is going to be less edward in this one and more jacob.. humm..
need my edward fix.. theres only so much twilight videos on youtube that i can watch over and over
20.11.09.. that's going to be agessss away >.<

be still my heart.

studying is not good for health

2009-06-08T18:23:00.003+08:00

honestly.
all you do is stare at the screen or book for hours on end - kills your eyes
all you do is ear while studying - increased calorie intake
you don't exercise at all because you are so busy studying. heck you have probably been stuck at your seat for the whole day now
and then you eat some more and study some more and eat some more and then sleep.
then its the same thing all over again tomorrow.

just great.

o.m.g. new moon trailer is OUT!!!

2009-06-07T17:09:00.000+08:00

because there are just some people in life you just don't recognise anymore

2009-06-04T15:24:00.003+08:00

you know how some friends you make, you make for life. you know them inside out. you finish each other's sentences. you might as well have been twins.

there are others who become your friends for a period of time, when you share something in common. and afterwards, depending on how much effort you put in, you might remain good friends or mere acquaintances saying hi and bye whilst you hurry by hoping s/he wouldn't stop you for a chat.

and then there are those you thought you knew, but you don't. not at all. not even close. one day you are playing in each other's paddling pool probably half naked, and the next you realise that that person you came to love and know so well is someone completely different. and you share nothing in common anymore. and it withers into nothingness.

it's sad.

is feeling a little ripped off ... again

2009-06-02T11:11:00.003+08:00

first it was the crappy hot chocolate from the engineering cafe... with the lukewarm milk and one teaspoon of chocolate.

today, it is the crappy 5.70 bagel that i bought from cafe 101. seriously. the bagel was tiny as. there was barely any smoked salmon, no capers at all and i could barely taste the cream cheese.
that was bad! horrible! i paid 5.70 for apparently a salmon, caper and cream cheese bagel but it was shitall!

not.. NOT buying anythign from the uni cafe.. except for the smoked chicken, brie and cranberry panini. that's still good. for now. until they raise the price and decrease the size. bastards.

has had enough with her flat

2009-05-25T10:39:00.002+08:00

who the fuck, may i ask, WHO THE FUCK leaves a puddle of oil sitting on the kitchen floor and not clean it up?

honestly, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?!

i JUST cleaned out the entire downstairs, swept vacuumed, mopped and tidied and already there are cable strewn around, beer bottle labels on the floor, ants all over the rubbish in the kitchen, brocolli crumbs on the counter top AND A FUCKING PUDDLE OF OIL ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

i give up. i have had enough. i would kill for my own place right about now. at least then i dnt walk downstairs to people who has been invited to the flat by people who don't actually LIVE or PAY FUCKING RENT+EXPENSES in the flat.

law lecturers

2009-05-19T05:48:00.002+08:00

the law lecturers in my uni are all closet evils! honestly

my crimes lecturer dissects, slaughters and butchers the answers for our test papers without actually returning the test papers.. leaving us wondering if we actually DID write that as our answers, or that maybe it was only our wishful thinking.

my equity lecturer tells us she is going to return our test scripts, THEN tell us that we have to wait till friday.

but this one.. THIS ONE.. is the most evil of them all. she seems like a nice little old lady.. but hey.. she gave us our assignment which was a problem question, and she doesn't even give us a starting point.. nada zilch. assignment question in your face with no starting point.

closet evils, i tell you!

long socks

2009-05-16T09:54:00.003+08:00

it is almost astounding how many holes i have in my socks, and how many runs i have in my tights.
what the hell?
both pairs of my black socks have been relegated to the rubbish bin due to the gaping hole at the area around the balls of my feet.
my new pair of sussan tights has a hole in them already, my other nicer looking glassons one managed to acquire a nice long run down the back of it.. or the front.. depending on how i wear it.
and so i am left with my old pair of glassons tights which has little annoying cotton balls on it.

i need new socks and tights.. fast! wearing knee-high boots with ankle socks isn't the most comfortable feeling around.

speaking of boots, i don't know if i should throw away my old pair of boots.. admittedly, it is pretty worn and the inside of the sole is pretty much gone (maybe that's whats causing holes in my socks). but there's sentimental value in it! it lasted me for a good 3 winters. i can't possibly abandon it now :(

and the other day when i was in the mall, i walked past shoe connection and saw another pretty pair of boots. its so evil! i already bought one. i wasn't even going around looking for another pair (which my mum accused me of!). it was just sitting there in the window display, calling out to me. sigh. its got such pretty buttons and buckles on it too! mum told me to just buy it and get over with it and not go looking for another pair (i swear i wasn't!). my brother said that i should buy it on the condition that if my results come back looking less than spectacular, i would have to buy him something. my only hesitation on buying it is because i'm not unsure as to how many more winters i would have in christchurch. im supposed to be graduating next year. but what if after graduation i don't stay on here because i can't find a job? then what?

counting my fuckups one by one.

2009-05-14T13:20:00.001+08:00

1) crimes mid-sessional
2) equity mid-sessional
3) intellectual property 25% essay

and the list just keeps going on and on and on.

just give me back my test papers back already damnit!

equity schmequity

2009-05-13T17:39:00.002+08:00

wow.. i found my post from last night! silly blogger didn't just delete my post and not save it as a draft after all.. phew..
tried to write up my essay last night.. but all i came up with was "terrorism strikes again" oh yay..

i want my paper back damnit.. my equity lecturer is so evil.
honestly.
she announced in class yesterday that she was going to return our test scripts. BUT we had to wait till friday.
honestly. who does that?! i just want my test script back already.... all this waiting is killing me.. knowing that i didn't do half as well as i probably should have :(

dreading writing my 2nd essay. over it, over it i say! the lecturer gave us a grace period until monday before the secretary got in.. but i really need to get started on my commercial essay as well.. can't wait till all this is over.. then maybe i can finally get some decent baking or cooking done.. chocolate chip cookies? lemon cheesecake? laksa?

All nighter

2009-05-09T20:37:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I pulled yet another all nighter.. for yet another essay..
its preposterous!
well theoretically it wasn't really an all nighter cos i did sleep for 2/3 hours.
but still.. i SWORE i wouldn't do an all nighter anymore.. but lo and behold i stayed up yet again.. with josh.. to write up a 3000 intellectual property essay.. i started at around midday and didnt finish till nearly 4 in the morning.. AND i found myself in crimes lecture at 9 in the morning. i can't believe myself.. honestly..
ergh
another 2 essays to go.. i DON'T WANT TO PULL TWO MORE ALL NIGHTERS IN A ROW.. gahhhh

and and andddd.. i saw another pair of boots that i like.. its soooo unfair :(

done with midsessionals

2009-05-02T18:54:00.002+08:00

I AM FRIGGIN DONE WITH MIDSESSIONALS.
NO MORE MIDSESSIONALS IN THIS LIFE TIME FOR ME!

for those who don't do uc law school lingo, mid sessionals are the end of first term/start of second term tests for all compulsory level 200 subjects (ie crimes, contract, torts, land and public) and equity. the tests are on the first week back of 2nd term uni, which is very evil as we spend 3 weeks of our easter holidays studying and mugging away, leaving us with no break at all until the middle of the year.
but i am done. D.O.N.E. done. no more midsessionals for me! yush!!! no more evil 25% two hour tests!
now hopefully, i don't fail crimes which has an almost 40% fail rate for midsessionals every year.

25 minutes

2009-05-01T07:34:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning thinking about this song.
Weird. Very weird.

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
but she cryed while she was saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

I can still hear her say.......

long time coming

2009-04-29T15:07:00.002+08:00

wow.. i don't remember the last time i ventured into this page.. i dare say i can see cobwebs peeking through the corners of it..

looking at my insane schedule this month, i can't help but hit myself over the head for doing this to myself. what the hell did i sign myself up for??? *whacks self over the head*

have got
- equity test this saturday worth 25%
- 3000 word intellectual property essay worth 25%(?) the friday after that
- 1500 word political science essay worth 30% the friday after the intellectual property essay
- iLaksa night on saturday, which i am in charge of decorations
- 3 page commercial law essay worth 25%(?) the friday the political science essay
- political science test worth 25% one and a half weeks after my commercial law essay
- company, intellectual property and commercial mid year/final exams in a span of two weeks, a week after my political science test

really... what have i signed myself up for???
AND i am going to get my results back for my previous political science test.. all this waiting will be the death of me. honestly. >.<
at least i'm going to watch miss saigon this weekend.

help me someone, i can hardly breathe!

my phone is dying

2009-04-08T10:38:00.003+08:00

this summer just past, i commented to my mum that i dread the day i have to change my phone as there are too many models with too many functions, and well basically far too many to choose from. i would have problems trying to decide which brand to go with, let alone which model within that brand.

just as my luck would have it, i think my phone is on the verge of death. it kept lagging today, images wouldn't come up, it hangs, the screen comes up with blurred lines.

oh dear god... help me.

good karma, bad karma

2009-03-30T15:39:00.002+08:00

been feeling a lot of evil vibes around me lately..
like massively evil vibes.. not that i've done anything evil lately or anythign..
just a walking ball of evil.

think i shall go make some apple&cinnamon pancakes with banana and chocolate chips to up my karma. >.<

Teardrops on My Guitar -- Taylor Swift

2009-03-15T07:33:00.000+08:00

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

Am I Still The One - Daniel Powter

2009-02-28T11:31:00.001+08:00

I don't get much from heroes
I don't give them much thought
I crumble under pressure,
made of steel I’m not
I don't like my reflection
I don't like what i see
I'm scared of my shadow,
it cast this doubt on me
But am I still the one?
Am I still the one?
Am I still the one?

I was standing in your shadow just to understand your pain
But when I needed you the most you looked the other way
I wanted you to comfort me the moment we begun
I loved you through your nothingness am I still the one

You’re coming through the windows, you’re crawling through the floor
You sent the spies to find me, now they’re kicking down my door

But am I still the one

I was standing in your shadow just to understand your pain
But when I needed you the most you looked the other way
There’s nothing left but emptiness it’s all been said and done
I know you want me to believe that I’m still the one

So long to the angels
You got me on the run

Tell me that you’ll never leave me again

tell me that you'll never leave me again,
now you're sorry 'uhuh uh'
tell me that you'll never leave me again,
now you're sorry 'uhuh uh oh-huh-yo'
tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'
sorry 'oh-huh-yo'
tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'
sorry 'oh-huh-yo'
tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'
sorry 'oh-huh-yo'
tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'

just a few things

2009-02-02T14:58:00.002+08:00

Just a few things to touch on whilst I sit here waiting for my Microsoft Office Home and Student Edition to finally finish downloading.

The Lack of Blogging
-- i can offer you several different explanations as to the lack of blogging, but I think it all comes down to excuses and really, the lack of interest to share my dull and boring days. I know it has been a while since I actually posted something that was neither depressing nor morbid or death-related, and even longer since anything decent was posted on this blog. I wonder if anyone actually even reads this anymore, hmm.

Yi Lin
-- you tagged me on facebook about some 25 things tingie.. I know I haven't gotten around to it and to be honest, I don't actually know when I'm going to get around to it. some day, some day.. when I'm in the mood to.

The Holidays
-- the holidays is coming to an end, marked by a tinge of dread just thinking about my 10 hour flight into Christchurch. Now, if only I knew how to port from place to place. Oh how I do wish. Don't even get me started on the packing. To be honest, I'm not sure if I want to go back yet. I feel more tired today as compared to when I first got back. Holidays aren't supposed to do that! They are supposed to leave you feeling energised and ready to go for the coming year.

Friends and MahJong
-- celine and xinyu, where are you? Hey that rhymes! We need to go for cheesy wedges and hoi toi with melissa.. will also very most likely be the last time that I get to see you guys before I leave.

America's Next Top Model
-- celine got me hooked onto watching ANTM all over again. Impatient little thing that I am could not wait to know who won cycle 11 and ended up watching it on youtube over a period of three days. I was disappointed. I concede that the winner thoroughly deserved it, but she was not my favourite. Alas, as Celine said, "favourites never win".

The Computer
-- i did (well theoretically my brother did) my annual clean up of my computer (i.e. formatting it) sometime last week. It cleans out unwanted crap and the occasional virus leaving my computer squeaky clean and running as fast as a Kenyan. However, the last programme that I installed, Adobe, was faulty and kept popping up with some error message thing every 15 minutes. And so, I had to format my computer again yesterday and am now trying to install the programmes all over again. So far, I have my drivers, the internet, and msn. This is very painful.

Another hour to go for msoffice. I wonder if I should watch cycle 10. hm.

240109

2009-01-24T21:04:00.002+08:00

hey mann..

hows it going? where are you now?
do you still come back during tea and dinner time? i don't know.. i don't feel you like they do. in case you don't, you should know that your place outside is still empty - waiting for you to come back for tea. your place is also still being set at dinner. i've been rather lazy lately and haven't been cooking dinner. your mum doesn't really like me helping out in the kitchen, you know that.

you missed dinner tonight. the dinner you were supposed to buy me before i leave for new zealand. we went to that seafood restaurant place at the driving range. it wasn't really anything to shout about. their service was poor. food was not too bad, i guess. though their roast chicken wasn't that good today as compared to lunch the other day.

i dream of you quite a few times, you know? not sure if its just my subconscious or if its you trying to send a message to me lol.

don't forget to come along to grand aunty serene's place for the new year okay? don't stay too long though. ee-sam said that she doesn't feel like joining us this year so you should go accompany her at home. it's just the usual affair at aunty serene's anyway. its going to be hot, and boring and mosquito infested. ergh. guess you really aren't missing out on much so yeah.

anyway, i best be off..
miss you okay? come back for dinner ya..
never really said this before, but, love you uncle!

i dreamt of you

2009-01-18T09:42:00.002+08:00

last night, i had a dream of you.
i dreamt that you had returned to us for one more day.
we had spent the day together as one whole family.
for a moment, it felt like the events of the past week was merely a dream, a joke that you had pulled on us. for that moment, i was happy.
then it was time for you to go. it was no less painful the second time around.
we sat around and said our goodbyes and you told me that you had come back to see us everyday since. just like you used to. i was slightly comforted by that fact.
you left slightly smiling, with food and drink in one hand and a burning cigarette in the other.
then i awoke. reality piercing every inch of my skin.
the reality that i would never see you again in this lifetime of mine.
the reality that you were gone, forever.
the reality that you weren't coming home for tea or dinner ever again.
i miss you.

souls

2009-01-17T21:32:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt like you were being watched from behind your shoulder?
it's the exact feeling when you are reading the papers and someone creeps up behind you and starts reading it too.

i had the feeling that day. on thursday? friday? i can't remember anymore. i was busy clearing the tables and putting out more bottles of water and bags of peanuts. it really felt like you were there - standing right behind me making sure i was doing my job right. i was so sure of myself that i expected to see you hovering behind me when i turned. but there was no one.

i thought i saw you though. a split second image of you. if i had blinked, i wouldn't have caught anything. but you were there. i know you were there. and then you were gone.

you weren't

2009-01-15T21:41:00.003+08:00

you weren't supposed to leave us yet.
you were supposed to watch me finish my cross stitch.
you were supposed to buy me a farewell dinner before i left for new zealand for yet another year.
you were supposed to order roast chicken for me.
you were supposed to tell me what papers to take this year.
you were supposed to witness my 21st birthday.
you were supposed to meet my boyfriend.
you were supposed to come for my graduation.
you were supposed to help me with my first job.
you were supposed to enjoy my first pay check on a 10 course chinese dinner.
heck, we were supposed to set up a law firm together.
you were both supposed to grow old together.
you were supposed to enjoy many, many more years to come.
what now?
what am i going to do when i have a problem?
who do i go to?
what is she going to do?
you left her with a house and two dogs.
she's only 42.
but you just left us.
you didn't even say goodbye.
it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Death was not pencilled into my diary for today.

2009-01-10T22:16:00.001+08:00

T.M. Mak
May 5th 1960 - January 8th 2009

the little nyonya

2009-01-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

what a sad sad show :(

unintended

2008-12-31T16:13:00.003+08:00

Heard this song in the Levi's shop the other day and fell in love with it. Took me a while to find it cos I could only make out a few words here and there. It does sound kinda whiny though now that I have had another listen to it.

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

Viva La Resistance!

2008-12-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

I turn 20 tomorrow.
I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I turn 20 tomorrow.
I refuse to turn 20 tomorrow.
Nevarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Twenty schmenty!

keepin it real

2008-12-27T23:56:00.000+08:00

how do we know if someone is being fake?
what if it were all just lies?
we can never tell, can we?

bored-o-meter

2008-12-24T23:16:00.001+08:00

thanks to crappy singapore christmas tv, i am reduced to watching sarah jessica parker.

somebody save me.

being a girl

2008-12-24T20:14:00.002+08:00

you know what sucks?
knowing something bad will happen.

you know what sucks worse than knowing something bad will happen?
having to wait around for it like a sitting duck.

you know whats worse than knowing something bad will happen and having to wait around for it like a sitting duck?
not knowing when it will happen.

periods.. grrrrrrr

christmas 08

2008-12-23T23:27:00.002+08:00

all this happy happy warm and fuzzy christmas bullshit is making me very :(
i want my boyfriend here with me... :'(

thats all i want for christmas this year, santa.

new moon

2008-12-04T20:25:00.001+08:00

he left her.
edward left bella.
stupid stupid edward :(

i cried.

spice girls

2008-11-29T00:01:00.004+08:00

i was looking at spice girls videos on youtube (don't shoot me that dirty look.. i know you do it from time to time as well).. and as i was listening to the lyrics of "2 become 1", a horrible horrible revelation hit me.. they were singing about having sex! (i can hear my childhood innocence just flying out of the window as i'm typing this)

seriously! have a look at the lyrics

Are you as good as I remember baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one

Ah, oh wow
Ah, oh wow

Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one

does that just not scream "get a condom on and let's have sex"?

i don't know why i never realised it before until just then.. i can hear my childhood innocence shatter into another million pieces..

now that i realised this, i can NEVER look back at the days of my childhood and not think "o.m.g. i was singing about having sex at the age of 7. what a slut." *shudders*

there is no hope.

home

2008-11-27T20:24:00.001+08:00

hate it.

its too hot for this shits.

where's my vincent baker???

DNT WANNA

2008-11-25T08:14:00.003+08:00

i dnt wanna dnt wanna dnt wanna go backkkkkkkk

its going to be boring as hell what with celine working and jayne wont be back for a while and mel will be busy with her cousins and whatnot... it'll only be me and xinyu :'(

dnt wanna dnt wanna dnt wannaaaaaaaaaaa

edit/ps not that xin is boring or anything.. she is quite the contrary..

Score at BK!

2008-11-18T16:33:00.002+08:00

So... we went to BK today after a grueling day of spring cleaning the house. I ordered a Tendergrill Chicken combo and ended up waiting for a full twenty minutes for my food. I waited in line for 15 minutes and finally gave up and told the girl behind the counter to bring my food to the table instead.

About a millennium after that, the girl finally came with my order. Lo and behold was I very surprised when she showed up with my Tendergrill Chicken combo, a double cheeseburger as well as 2 sundaes - one chocolate and the other caramel.

Together with a tray full of goodies, she apologised for the delay, served with a smile and explained that the extras were compensation for the delay. So yes, I was very impressed with their service and more impressed by the fact that the extra food was completely voluntary and I didn't even have to ask for it!

Three woots for Burger King!

Russell Peters

2008-11-17T16:36:00.003+08:00

Russell Peters on beating the kids:

My dad's theory was "If I get rid of one, I'll just make another one. And I'll tell the new one what an idiot the last one was".

the english language

2008-11-14T09:10:00.003+08:00

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it ?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell ?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by f illing it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on .

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick?'

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends.. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special ..

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP;
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so....... Time to shut UP!

plans for summer

2008-11-08T16:40:00.002+08:00

catch up on my many tv shows
read all my books!
shop
eat
lose weight
get a job?
finish my cross stitch
cook

sounds kinda sad.

post exam trauma

2008-11-08T05:26:00.001+08:00

okay, so i was supposed to have blogged a little while back, but i have been unable to think of something to blog about. so this is just an interim post, maybe?

maybe later in the day.. i will blog about my plans this holidays.. maybe.

im doneeeeeeee

Men Are Useless

2008-10-31T14:24:00.002+08:00

Every single freaking one of them.

And people say women are indecisive.

Men take a gazillion years to decide whether its food time.

Another gazillion years passes before they decide that yes, it's time to get food.

Then another gazillion years passes.

Then they take another gazillion years to decide what to eat.

Then they take a gazillion years to get up, get dressed and go.

And when they get there, they take another gazillion years to decide what they want to eat.

Men... USELESS! pfft.

15 Things About Me

2008-10-29T06:07:00.004+08:00

--From Wei Yi--

1. When arranging chairs and tables, they MUST be in a straight line.

2. I get rather OCD when I'm arranging stuff, well some of it anyway. You should've seen the way I used to arrange my Barbie doll's clothing.

3. I love peanut butter, but not the peanut butter here - they aren't sweet enough.

4. I'm not allergic to crustaceans, but I don't really like them either.

5. I don't watch TV, not on a conventional TV anyway.

6. I can't sing, I've been told many a time I can't sing, but I do it anyway.

7. I can burst out laughing, roll around in fits of giggles, laugh till I can't breathe, laugh till I start crying and still continue laughing.

8. I don't make my bed AT ALL. It has always pissed my mum off and will probably always continue to do so. I just don't see the point in it. I'm going to go to sleep in it and mess it up again anyway.

9. I have the attention span of a 4 year old - which is about 30 seconds

10. I like Chinese tea.

11. I don't know how many dimples I have. All I know is I have a lot of blemishes. What happened to my clear-ish skin from highschool?!

12. I'm right handed. Always was, currently am, and always will be.

13. Did I tell you about the time I supplied blood for my class' science experiment?

14. I hate studying. I hate hate hate studying.

15. I love heights. There's just something about being so so far away from ground that gives me adrenaline, thrill and exhilaration.

life

2008-10-10T13:46:00.001+08:00

the worst thing about life is that you never really get out of it alive

you know what i think? (2)

2008-10-04T17:41:00.002+08:00

i think pepperoni pizza is one of the best pizzas around. its nice. its simple. its flavourful.

but you know what i think is better than pepperoni pizza?
pepperoni pizza with pineapple.

i know, i know... it sounds like a very weird combination.. but it is so good! its inception came about on the day when i was craving for both pepperoni AND pineapple (duhhh) so I got Horst (who works at dominos which is extremely handy) to make me one. and my my did I not regret that.

the spicy salty paper thin pepperoni with the hint of sweet from the pineapple is absolutely an orgasm in the mouth!

go ahead, you know you want to try it.

p/s - a fact that Horst constantly reminds me. I cannot seem to pronounce pizza. i always go pittza.

Naked!

2008-10-01T18:21:00.002+08:00

This post goes out to Reuben.

Flatmates can be exasperating when they don't clean up the kitchen.
But at other times, they are a ball of fun and provided much needed entertainment.
Tonight, for example:-

Me, Vinny, Andy and Reuben are enjoying a little time off our work, discussing about love, life, sex and bananas. [No, we were actually discussing pizzas, screw ups and the guys were talking about DotA].

So there we were, happily eating and chatting when Horst walks out of the common bathroom and screams "NAKED!!!".

All of us continued on talking... except for Reuben. Reuben turned around.

We didn't stop laughing for the next 5 minutes at Reuben's expense.

This wouldn't have been half as funny if it wasn't for the fact that Horst played the exact same prank two or three months ago, and like this time, only Reuben turned around.

you know what i think?

2008-09-27T18:28:00.002+08:00

I think that drunk idiots who have nothing better to do but going around ringing people's doorbells then running away like the little cowards that they are should be shot. every single last one of them. fucking assholes!

seriously...
this drunk cunt rang the doorbell twice then proceeded to knock repetitively away at the door. so i went downstairs to investigate as we weren't expecting any guests at this hour. the moment the fucker saw me come down the stairs he shouted "oh fuck!!" then ran back into the car just parked oh so conspicuously by the road and the car immediately sped off.

bloody hell.
so yes. these drunk idiots who are nothing better than scums of the earth, scabbing away at our precious resources should be gunned down. every single fucking one of them. does the government have nothing better to do than feed such useless fucks with taxpayers money?

Time To Say Goodbye

2008-09-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

When Im alone
I dream on the horizon
And words fail;
Yes, I know there is no light
In a room
Where the sun is not there
If you are not with me.
At the windows
Show everyone my heart
Which you set alight;
Enclose within me
The light you
Encountered on the street.

Time to say goodbye,
To countries I never
Saw and shared with you,
Now, yes, I shall experience them,
Ill go with you
On ships across seas
Which, I know,
No, no, exist no longer;
With you I shall experience them.

When you are far away
I dream on the horizon
And words fail,
And yes, I know
That you are with me;
You, my moon, are here with me,
My sun, you are here with me.
With me, with me, with me,

Time to say goodbye,
To countries I never
Saw and shared with you,
Now, yes, I shall experience them,
Ill go with you
On ships across seas
Which, I know,
No, no, exist no longer;
With you I shall re-experience them.
Ill go with you
On ships across seas
Which, I know,
No, no, exist no longer;
With you I shall re-experience them.
Ill go with you,
I with you.

Credit Contracts and Consumer Finance Act 2003

2008-09-18T17:01:00.002+08:00

.... is really what I should be doing at this moment.. but no..

Two names you go by:
-von
-fangi

Two things you are wearing right now:
- pink moo moo fleece pj top
- black tracks

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
- have no work to do
- have no exam so that I will have no work to do

Two people who will most likely send this back
- huei (happy birthday by the way)
- andy

Two things you did last night:
- study
- bummed around

Two things you ate today
- stir fried egg with mince and garlic shoots
- cereal

Two people you last spoke to:
- vinny
- reuben

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
- study
- go for anisa's dinner

Two favourite beverages:
- sarsi
- oj

men.

2008-09-13T10:38:00.004+08:00

men are useless.

first they tell you that they will come over after lunch.
then they make you wait for one and a half hours.
only tell you that they will not be coming.
this is the i don't know which time i've been ffk-ed by a guy!

and THEY say women are hormonal. PFFT.

MEN... USELESS!

free rice!

2008-09-12T09:26:00.002+08:00

Free Rice

Just a little something I found on Xin's Blog.
Click on it and play it to help donate rice through the UN World Food Program!
For every correct answer that you get, 20grains of rice are donated.
And it's not just English Vocabulary that you can play, you can choose from other subjects too!
Several countries have already reached their target donation while some others are scheduled to complete in the next few years or so. Sadly, New Zealand is not even scheduled to complete anytime soon. So play away and tell your friends as well.
Go on. Click on the link. Let this be your one good will for the day.

My Scores!
English Vocab - got up to level 31. But gave up as the words got too weird.
English Grammar - level 5/5
Math Multiplication - All the memorising throughout primary school finally paid off.
Chemistry Basic - just a recap on basic high school stuff

Have fun with it! I know I did, for an entire hour. =)

it was one of those moments

2008-09-09T14:50:00.002+08:00

it was one of those moments. those very blonde moments.

i walked all the way into uni to go to the gym, just to realise that i forgot my gym card. -.-'''

its times like these that i really feel like smacking myself over the head.

sigh.

edit: failed bananabread

2008-09-07T07:45:00.002+08:00

know what i just realised?

the bananabread is the first thing i've ever baked in my life.
the first thing ever and i failed it horribly. sigh

p.s. premixed muffins where you only have to mix in an extra egg and milk doesnt count.

failed bananabread

2008-09-05T12:44:00.002+08:00

ok, so i thought my bananabread was going pretty damn well.
until i took it out of the oven and out of the baking tin.
outside was slightly burnt, but i could still live with that.
but when i cut up the inside. it was mushy.
and not nice and fluffy like the ones you get in bakeries.

massive fail. :(

what pisses von off

2008-09-04T11:27:00.003+08:00

you know what pisses von off?
flatmates.
messy flatmates.
dirty messy flatmates.
dirty messy flatmates who don't clean up.
dirty messy flatmates who don't clean up after cooking.

it really really pisses me off to come down to a kitchen in the morning which is dirty from the night before. food lay about on the counter. used utensils lying about in the sink. dirty dishes sitting on the dining table.

thats what pisses von off.

not the electricity bill. not the internet bill. not the fact that downstairs is constantly freezing. but the fact that the kitchen is constantly constantly dirty and people don't clean up after using it.

BLAHHHHHHH

turning 20

2008-08-29T12:04:00.002+08:00

here's a little advanced shout out to jo(anna) and jo(seph) for their upcoming 20th birthday!

speakign of which, for some funny reason, i don't feel like i'm turning 20. heck i don't even feel anywhere near 18. i feel like i'm still 15. maybe it's because i'm so hopelessly dependent on my parents. true, living out this year has opened my eyes nice and wide to the world... but still! i don't feel 20. i mean, shouldn't it come with some form of maturity or just a little bit more wisdom? or maybe its just that i'm taking a little longer than usual or as compared to the rest to 'grow up' per se. maybe what i need is a big fat you're going to turn 20 slap in the face.

i've talked to my brother about this actually... and a few others. it seems like i'm the only one on this. everyone seems to feel vaguely 20ish. my brother said that he felt like he was always expected to act beyond his age and therefore felt like he was turning 20 ages before he actually physically turned 20.

i feel like a little kid :(

let's play the tag game!

2008-08-26T08:16:00.004+08:00

Decided to do this survey/tag even though Xin didn't tag anyone. This goes to show how bored I am and just how much I don't want to do my work. Bad von... BAD!!!

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time : 1219
Name : Yvonne/Yao Fang/Von/Fangi
Sisters : NONE
Brothers : 1 elder
Shoe size : Chucks 6 1/2
Height : 163cm
Where do you live? In my awesome-as flat that is like on campus!
Favourite drinks : Orange juice!
Favourite breakfast : Butter with sugar on toast, most cereals, bacon and eggs, McD breakfast!!!
Have you ever been on a plane? Yes, at least twice a year.
Swam in the ocean? No.
Fallen asleep at school? Pretty much every morning first period is my nap time.
Broken someone's heart? Most likely
Fall off your chair? Hahah, yes.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? Oh yes.
What is your room like? Messy most of the time unless I get stressed and go all OCD on it <--ditto
What's right beside you? Bottle of EPO, Contract Law textbook opened at page 236, phone, water bottle, sticky pad, chocolates, and a whole bunch of random stuff
What is the last thing you ate? Butter and sugar on toast
Ever had chicken pox? Yes, back in kindergarten I believe.
Sore throat? Having one right now as we speak.
Stitches? Unless it's on aida cloth or clothes, no. <--ditto!
Broken nose? Never broken any part of my body, other than my heart. <-- ditto! Do you believe in love at first sight? In objects and celebrities, yes. <--ditto! (we have a lot in common, Xin)
Like picnics? Never been to a proper one.
Who was/were the last person/people you danced with?
Will O'Brien in Law Revue!!! or the rest of the cast at the after party
Last made you smile? um.. Vinny probably?
You last yelled at? Andy to stop moving around.
Today did you talk to some one you like? I always talk to someone I like everyday :D <-- ditto!
Kiss anyone? Yarh.
Get sick? Of homework, yes <--ditto! physically as well, actually. I'm sick right now.
Talk to an ex? That was ages ago.. he never comes online
Miss someone? Miss a bunch of people every single day <-- ditto!
Eat? I'm not anorexic if thats what you want to know
Best feeling in the world? Loved
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not here.
What's under your bed? Base of the bed.
Who do you really hate? No one really. It's quite difficult for me to hate people.
What time is it now? 1230
5 things I was doing 10 years ago?
Probably studying lots and having no life.
5 things on my to-do list today
- get my aunt's birthday present
- cash the bank draft
- do grocery shopping
- go to the gym
- study
5 snacks i enjoy?
- bacon chips
- cheesy rings
- those lemon tarts
- ham slices
- a fruit at times
5 things i would do if i were a billionaire
- shop! clothes shoes bags accessories
- buy stuff for family and friends!
- buy a nice plot of land and have a house to call my own
- travel
- invest so i get more moolah to spend!
5 of my bad habits
- procrastinating
- being a mess in general
- scratching myself
- being ocd
- being bossy/management material >.<
5 places i have lived/stayed a night in
- Malaysia
- Singapore
- London
- Australia
- New Zealand
5 people i tag
mehh.. whoever who is bored enough

sunday afternoon

2008-08-24T13:38:00.005+08:00

this is the first sunday afternoon of the term holiday.
it's a very rainy sunday afternoon.
i'm very bored.
there's nothing to do.
and even if there was something to do, there is no one to do it with.
blahh.

someone save me.

b.s.o.d

2008-08-20T15:00:00.002+08:00

it's never a good day when your pc comes up with the blue screen of death TWICE

fuck you vista... fuck you

can't believe this is my 400th post as well

my table

2008-07-21T19:52:00.002+08:00

Not quite sure what I was trying to achieve with this shot. I was uploading some photos and left the camera on my table and saw this shot on the screen. Thought it was rather cute. How many things can YOU identify in the photo?

chinese

2008-07-13T14:08:00.002+08:00

Watching Natalie on the communitychannel on Youtube is making me blog a lot for some funny reason. She's what you term a video blogger. So instead of typing up posts like these, they make videos and post them on youtube. I must admit though some of her videos are really quite funny and according to ChowChow, she is one of the most subscribed videobloggers on youtube. Go ahead, you know you want to have a sneak peak at what I'm talking about. Go youtube "community channel" and the first one that comes up should be an Asian chick with long hair on the screen shot. Alternatively, youtube "orgasm blush".

Anyway, that was not the reason I am blogging at this moment. Partially, I'm trying to escape from having to write up my essay. But that's not the point.

The point is.... why is it that when Chinese people see me, they automatically assume that I'm Chinese? Do I have "I speak Mandarin" tattoed across my forehead? Not the last time I checked, no. Yet funny enough, this morning when I went downstairs to answer the doorbell, this couple assumed I am Chinese and proceeded to speak to me in Mandarin saying that they were here to view the furniture. To which I gave them a very puzzled look (plus the fact I had just gotten out of bed). Then they explained that they were looking for 132A, which is the house behind mine.

And all but 5 minutes ago when I went downstairs to answer the doorbell yet again, these three people (one female and two male) automatically assumed I am Chinese and proceeded to speak in Mandarin asking if my place is 132A.

Seriously! Other than the fact that I am Asian, is there anything about me that screams the fact that I speak Mandarin? No! I mean, I could be like Korean or Japanese or Vietnamese or something you know? Other than the fact that I am not but that is really beside the point.

OK, not too sure what was the purpose of this rant for but just felt like I needed to say something about that.

Ciao

p/s Maybe I should go cook some french toast now for nobody who is hungry which means either I will end up eating everything by myself, force feed it to someone in the house or let it sit on the counter for a day or two before throwing it into the dustbin. Not too sure what is up with my cleaning/cooking streak for the last few days. Should really get that checked out.

Mamma Mia!

2008-07-12T15:55:00.003+08:00

Not quite sure why that poster says the release date is September '08 when I watched it in the cinema last night.

Btw, the guy on the right reminds me of Mark Smitten from Tudors (the gay musician who was accused of adultery with Queen Anne Boleyn and quite brutally sent to the gallows)

Back to Mamma Mia!. Watching Meryl Streep play the role of the (somewhat promiscuous when she was younger) mother to Sophie was definitely a huge huge change from the role of chief editor she undertook in The Devil Wears Prada (which btw I absolutely loved as well). A singing Pierce Brosnan was rather... odd. And I'm sorry to burst your bubble Xin, but Colin Firth plays the gay role.

All in all, I absolutely enjoyed the movie except for some Bollywood like moments where everyone in the vicinity breaks out into song and dance and all are in sync. A little too corny for my taste. But overall, I loved the movie, sang most of the songs and probably embarrassed the hell out of Yi Lin who was seated to my right and Allan to my left. Believe me, if I could, I would have been dancing by the aisle.

Unless you grew up listening to Abba on your mother/father's CD player, I wouldn't advice you going for the movie unless you were into musicals. But then again, if you were into musicals, you would have probably watched Mamma Mia before. So uhm yeah. Totally readdicted to Abba songs now!

[Edit] Just realised what a horrible attempt at a movie review that was. =(

grilled salmon wrapped in bacon

2008-07-11T20:36:00.004+08:00

Presenting...........
grilled salmon wrapped in bacon with sides of peas, carrots and mash potatoes with gravy

Because Overdresser wouldn't believe that I, Castalnetta, am capable of cooking.. these two pictures are here to prove to him otherwise.

Scrambled Eggs

2008-07-10T11:25:00.002+08:00

okay.. so maybe i should have taken a photo of my perfect (to me anyway) scrambled eggs that i made at 2pm for lunch today (i even got up and had breakfast today! i am slowly breaking my one/two meal a day cycle).

Scrambled Eggs
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons of milk (1 teaspoon for each egg)
1 dash of salt (1 dash of salt for every two eggs)
1 tablespoon of butter for frying (i used oil instead because i can't stand the smell of butter on the pan)

(multiply accordingly if you want to make more)

Heat a non stick frying pan
Whisk the eggs, milk and salt. Let the foam settle.
Melt the butter in the pan. (I sprayed oil evenly around the pan instead)
Add egg mixture
Wait until the first hint of setting begins
Use a spatula/flat wooden spoon and push the egg towards the centre while tilting the skillet to distribute the runny parts onto the pan
Continue this motion as eggs continue to set
Repeat until there are no more runny bits.
Flip over and cook for 15-20 seconds.
Serve on plate.
Salt & pepper to taste.

My pretty much perfect scrambled eggs on the first attempt! Yayzors!!!!

my lace choker

2008-07-08T17:31:00.003+08:00

the choker that i bought online from hottopic.com
the box that they used to send the choker in

the size of the choker that i bought in comparison to the box that they used to send the choker in

NOW we know where my 27dollars in postage went to.

i sucketh

2008-07-05T13:04:00.000+08:00

made my first batch of muffins yesterday.. and i kinda burnt the top of the chocolate chips. good god i sucketh at this cooking/baking thing.

i'm hungry

2008-07-04T21:54:00.005+08:00

I'm hungry... and cold.. and craving for a nice hot plate of ...If you don't know what that mess looks like, it is called wat tan hor or char hor fun or yin yong min.

During my trip to Melbourne, Celine and Bako brought me to this delightful little eating place in an alley shopping mall like place off ChinaTown where I rediscovered my love for this dish. Noodles, chicken slices, beef slices, prawns and occasionally squid are the essential ingredients of the dish. For a touch of colour, green leafy vege is used. Its delectably silky gravy is conjured up from egg, starch, seasoning and sauce.

The flavour of the dish is light and inviting. It is not heavy nor overly oily and somehow it whets your appetite just enough to want you going back for more. And going back for more is exactly what i want.

It is currently 2am in New Zealand, pretty much everything is closed, I'm hungry and I'm cold and I just want a nice hot plate of wat tan hor.

Goddamnit New Zealand.

shureveyy

2008-06-29T21:07:00.004+08:00

One word. No explanation.

1. Yourself: morbid
2. Your partner: angmoh
3. Your hair: layered
4. Your mother: scary
5. Your father: fatherly?
6. Your favorite item: laptop
7. Your dream last night: red
8. Your favorite drink: mountain dew
9. Your dream car: beemer
10. The room you are in: not mine
11. Your ex: engineer
12. Your fear: butterflies
13. What you want to be in 10 years: rich/successful
14. Who you hung out with last night: xy
15. What you’re not: size 8
16. Muffins: triple chocolate chip
17: One of your wish list items: clothes
18: Time: 2320
19. The last thing you did: type
20. What you are wearing: tracks
21. Your favorite weather: late summer/early spring
22. Your favorite book: p.s. i love you
23. The last thing you ate: mackers
24. Your life: mundane
25. Your mood: bored
26. Your best friend: (s) quirky
27. What you’re thinking about right now: hot showers
28. Your car: non-existent
29. What you are doing at the moment: typing
30. Your summer: malaysia
31. Your relationship status: attached
32. What is on your TV: nothing
33. What is the weather like: cold and windy
34. When was the last time you laughed: yesterday

The Last Goodnight - Pictures of You

2008-06-21T22:42:00.001+08:00

This is the clock up on the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a new born child before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won
This is the soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone praying for her son

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab just waiting for the call

This earthquake weather has got me shaking
Inside i'm high up and dry

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me
Every secret moment
Every stolen promise you've believed

Confess to me
All that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we cant win no matter how hard we must swing

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
What could have been
We could have been

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
What could have been

when you're not feeling the love

2008-06-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

been doing a lot of thinking during the past few days despite the fact that i am currently on holiday..

i'm turning 20 at the end of this year and i feel like i have accomplished absolutely nothing at all... makes me feel kinda useless.. grr

not feeling too good today..
it was going to end on a good note. until that conversation. should have just shut my trap.

s.i.g.h.

things i miss about home

2008-06-18T10:45:00.002+08:00

roti prata
wonton mee
chicken rice
grandmother's cooking
roasted duck, chicken and pork on rice
wat-tan-hor
peking duck
chinese dessert

the holidays

2008-06-08T18:49:00.002+08:00

omg.. i just had a weekend where i had nothing to do! it felt sooo good but at the same time, i was lost! for the first time in over 5 months, i had nothing to do!!!

anyhow, i am jetting off to melbourne on thursday for over 3 weeks.. so don't expect to see any updates!

whoopee!

and so

2008-05-28T08:23:00.003+08:00

it all boils down to this.
it has happened and thats that.
thinking about it, mulling over it, bitching about it, talking about it, whining about it is not going to change the fact that it has happened.
and thats the way of life.
accept it, forgive, understand that whatever happens happens for a reason, get over it, move on.
its what we all do.
we've been taught that time and tide waits for no one.
and if you want to be stagnant, caught in the webs of time and space thats for you to decide.
both of us were just the middle person caught in the range of fire.
its either hiding the truth or breaking a promise.
it was by fault of no one that it has happened.
and understand that it happens to everyone.
yes. everyone. you're not the only one.
and as much as you'd like to believe, hiding and ignoring is not going to help anything.
i've asked you about it and you chose to say nothing about it.
does that mean that you're at fault too?
you knew that if anything, the one thing i wanted was to have this settled.
the fact that i was silent doesn't mean i should be anything less to you.
and the fact that you've said stuff doesn't mean i regard you as anything less.
because the truth is, we all gossip, we all bitch and most of all we all have secrets.
accept that and understand that.
as she would have quoted gandhi, "be the change that you want to see in the world" or whatever it was that he said.
and by the way, whatever happened with me and her back then, that was our problem to deal with.
it wasn't because of anybody else that we were like that.
we were foolish, stupid and wilful.
she shouldn't have been implicated.
we've come to terms with that and we've gotten over it.
you should too.
and by doing what you did, you should know that you have opened up wounds which were left tucked away in the corner to heal.
you should have known better.
and by this, i know that i am probably not any more mature than you are and i'm not saying that i am but there would have been no other way to get it across to you.
both of us are having this little war over something that does not in any way even really concerns the both of us.
so go have your little war with yourself.
and when you are done, come talk to me.

lies

2008-05-27T20:08:00.002+08:00

so i may have lied about a couple of things. but it wasn't my prerogative to speak. and hey don't even for a moment think that i don't know you called me a liar, because i know. i damn well know about it. and even if i'm not that much of a saint, guess what you aren't either. what you are entitled to do, to say, as am i too. everything since then? all of it, fake.

Loneliness

2008-05-17T16:10:00.002+08:00

The loneliness.
It engulfs.
Little by little.
Bit by bit.
And then there was none.

If you think you are having a bad day, think again.

2008-05-11T10:26:00.002+08:00

A rather self-explanatory title, if I should say so myself.

i survived my midsessionals and i don't know what to do with myself so i am going to do a meme which i got tagged by wy and you are going to read it

2008-05-01T18:57:00.004+08:00

1. How many children do you want?
hm, this question again. let's see, 1 kid seems kinda pathetic cos s/he will be lonely. 2 kids - when one leaves for college, the other will be lonely. 3 kids, they will fit nicely in the back seat of the car though they will be constantly arguing over who is to sit in the middle seat and theres the whole elder kid favouring the youngest kid and the second kid feeling left out. 4 kids, they won't fit into the backseat of a 5seater, and no I don't fancy driving a van. 5 kids - hey what do you think I am? a baby making machine!? pfffft! heck, I don't even know what I am having for breakfast tomorrow (actually I do... a nice egg mayo sandwich and a good ol cup of OJ) so how do you expect me to know how many kids I want?!

2. What do you want the most now?
To be able to retake my Contracts exam. To say that I flunked that one would be THE understatement of the year.

3. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Aren't I already grown up enough? Anymore growing from this point onwards is gonna be sideways buddy!

4. If you can have one more dream come true, what would it be?
To have enough money to do anything I want, but not enough for me to not do anything. <-- sounds like a plan. Or alternatively, WY's answer of having more dreams to come true.

5. What are you afraid to lose now?
The people I love and care about.

6. Do you believe in being in love forever?
I am the sucker that I am... for love.

7. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Definitely depends on the situation. I'll only confess it if I know for sure that it's not just a passing fancy and something definite. Like WY says, timing is VERY important. <-- ditto.. though I will probably admit it first (history shows a recurring pattern) before he does assuming that he DOES like me too.

8. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed.
A good cry. Maybe some retail therapy. Food always helps. Texting Natasha Lim to call me works too since she has unlimited minutes unlike anyone else. Oh and probably bitching to anyone and everyone who will listen to me.

9. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
I'm glad you asked! Important points would be that the person must be taller than I am (not that hard to do), have a good command of English, and is able to make decisions and not be all wishy-washy. Also, he has to be filial but not choose his mother over me, kind and generous but not a spendthrift, caring and extremely concerned of my well-being but not give in to me too much, intelligent but not be complacent with it, have a great sense of humour but not try to be the class clown, be adventurous but not unstable, be willing to change for me but not be too malleable, occasionally showers me with gifts, show me lots of affection but not be too clingy, be able to hold his end of the conversation with me but not argue with me. Also must not be any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts.
Aren't you glad you asked? <-- gotta love Xin!

10. Which type of person do you hate the most?
People who are too UP THEMSELVES.

11. Do you cherish every single of your friendships?
I would like to say yes very much so.. though I think reality says otherwise. Some of them could probably use some working on.

12. Do you believe in God?
All I am going to say is, for someone who claims to not believe in God [one particular God anyway], I use God's name one hell of a lot.

13. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Being able to breathe?! It keeps me alive for a start.
Ok, seriously now. Family, my besties, my boyfriend, my mates and probably getting into Honours Stream for LLB.

14. Do you find it necessary for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
How oh how do I approach this question. I am currently with someone whom I love a lot. But if it ever comes down to me being single again, I would say that I would be able to go on living just fine without one as well.

15. What do you want your friends to be like?
People who will be there for me when I need them. Just like how I will be there for them when they need me. Friendship works both ways.

16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
Loyal, someone they can confide in, someone they know who will be there for them whenever the need arises.

17. If you can have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
I'd really like to be more patient! <-- Agreed. Currently I am a person who likes to see instant results (hence needing to be more patient), with people especially. I expect everything to be how I want it, where I want it, when I want it. I need to be less of a control freak. I need to learn to let go. I need to be less uptight.

18. If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?
you know who you are ;)

19. Would you die in order to save the ones you love?
Yes. Though there is always the argument presented in Supernatural where Dean made a deal with the Crossroads Demon and gave up his life in return for Sam to be brought back to life. How much guilt do you think your loved one will shoulder knowing that you died in order for them to live. Can YOU live, or rather die knowing that your loved one will be shouldering the burden of guilt and being the reason of your death? Do you know how that feels like?

20. [My question] If you died and went to heaven, where you were given a second chance on Earth to live your life once more, what would you do differently and why?
Probably putting in a little bit more effort with the people I love and the people around me.

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 8 people in your links list at the end of the post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

I tagggggggggggggg Pan, Huei, Andy, Michael, Vinny, Allan, Benedict and Twin (again). Yes Allan, you've been tagged. AGAIN! muahahahaha

fewd

2008-05-01T06:03:00.002+08:00

You would think that being miles apart, the both of us would have better things to keep us entertained with other than food. But on the contrary, the first thing I wake up to is her asking me to suggest something for her to eat.

her : wht should i have fr dinner
me : chicken cordon bleu
her : i can only get that at cheesecake factory which is like 25minsdriveawaywtf
me : chicken rice
her : had that few days ago. and why are you naming all chicken meal. lol
me : wonton mee
her : had that fr breakkie
me : go get a burger la you. so mafan
her : HAHAHHAHAHAHA. ask you to suggest sth also mafan. nonsense
me : :p i make awesome ass burgers btw
her : without pickles thank you very much.
me : i never had pickles in my burgers thank you
her : i dont mind more onions n tomatoes, n lettuce hahaha im a vege person
me : meat and bacon for me thank you
her : mmmmm both of that yum. i had vietnamese pork chop rice last nite. uncle drove all of us out to chinatown just to satisfy our cravings. and it was almost an hour's drive
me : i know what you can have... baked chicken rice
her : eeek anything but baked rice
me : blasphemy woman!
her : no its not eeek
me : blahhh.. i will not and shall not speak any longer to you... YOUUUUU... who insults the dearly beloved baked rice. how dare you
her : HAHAHAHAHAHA wtf ... anything but baked rice. seriously.
me : blasphemy

just your good olde conversations on a thursday morning.